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Late Night Political Humor

“The Libyan rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn’t sound like the America I know.” – Bill Maher

“I don’t think Khadafi gets it, because half the country is in rebel hands, his military is defecting and he’s being tried at the International Criminal Court. Somebody asked him today what he’s doing. He said, ‘Duh, winning!'” – Bill Maher

“The Mexican president was in town and said he wants more American tourists to visit his country. Which explains their new tourism slogan: ‘Mexico. Come to us or we’ll come to you.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.” – Jay Leno

“Mexican President Calderon told President Obama that the United States must do more to reduce the demand for drugs. Obama said, ‘We got Charlie Sheen off cocaine. What more do you want us to do?'” – Jay Leno

“Obviously, Charlie is saying crazy stuff. It’s the fact that he’s so confident in what he’s saying. It reminds me of George Bush.” – Bill Maher

“One interviewer said, are you bi-polar? He said, ‘I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.’ So yes, it’s childish. It’s needlessly defensive. It makes no sense. So if you ever wondered what it would be like if Sarah Palin was on coke, there you go.” – Bill Maher

“New Rule: When you make stupid into an art form, it’s not stupid anymore. We just found out that the “Sarah Palin” who writes Sarah Palin’s Facebook page is a fake, but the real Sarah Palin has her own Facebook page, under a fake name. And sometimes the real/fake Sarah Palin praises the work of the fake/real Sarah Palin. It’s like Inception for hillbillies. There’s also a rumor that she doesn’t really need glasses, she just wears them to look smart. And when she has them on, Todd doesn’t know she’s Superman” – Bill Maher

“Republican Presidential hopeful Mike Hucka-BS is attacking actress Natalie Portman for getting pregnant without being married. It could get a little awkward if he runs into Sarah and Bristol Palin at Fox News.” – Jay Leno

“Wisconsin Republicans are accusing the missing Democrats of secretly sneaking back into the state to visit their wives. A politician sneaking into his own house to have sex with his own wife.” – Jay Leno

“Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has sold his 1977 Peugeot 504 for 2.5 million at an auction. It even came with the phone books he has to sit on to drive it.” – Jay Leno



  1. ebdoug wrote:

    “Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.” – Jay Leno

    Jay Leno who prides himself on knowing things doesn’t realize this is a very offensive joke. Canada is in America=North America. We are in America=North America. Mexico is in America=Central America. Brazil is in America=South America. If Africa is a country than America is a country. Neither is true. Those outside the United States are offended when we call the US “America”

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 6:40 am | Permalink
  2. starluna wrote:

    EBDoug – I agree with your sentiment. FYI – geographers define Mexico as part of North America. Has something to do with longitude lines or something like that.

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 9:04 am | Permalink
  3. ebdoug wrote:

    I really had the feeling that I was wrong. That Mexico was really North America. “America the beautiful,from sea to shining sea” could apply to all three North American countries or are there more than three?
    When Germany started to round up the Jews, they wanted to go to “America” as a continent.

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 10:25 am | Permalink
  4. RK wrote:

    America has been used colloquially to indicate the US for a very long time. And it appears in many other languages, too. The problem is that United States Citizen, or some equivalent, is too cumbersome. I believe Esperanto is one of the few languages that makes the distinction, we are Usonoj.

    Language doesn’t always follow logical rules. That said, I often use America in the same sense, to indicate any of North or South America. Just to buck the trend.

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm | Permalink
  5. ebdoug wrote:

    “I’m from the USA” is short and correct.

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 1:17 pm | Permalink
  6. starluna wrote:

    A lot of Jews did migrate all over the Americas during the Russian pogroms and Nazi era. There is a sizeable Jewish community in Argentina. There has also been a good sized Jewish community in Mexico City since the early 20th century.

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 4:15 pm | Permalink
  7. Iron Knee wrote:

    Not just colloquially, RK. Just look at official titles like “House Committee on Unamerican Activities”.

    But it gets worse. We are the country that created something we call the “World Series” for baseball, and then only invite the US and Canada to it. Japan is crazy for baseball, but I guess they’re chopped liver to us.

    And even terms like “North America” are ambiguous. In common usage, North America only includes Canada, USA, and Mexico (and sometimes Greenland). But scientifically, North America is a continent, and it includes what we call Central America. Wikipedia claims that the boundary between North and South America is commonly the Darién watershed along the Columbia-Panama border, but sometimes at the Panama Canal (which is a bit silly since the canal is a man-made thing). Either way, there are 45 countries or territories in North America!

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 5:17 pm | Permalink