Political Irony

“Mitt Romney started to stick it to Obama right away. He said, “We are only inches away from ceasing to be a free market economy.” What?! If he’s going to lie this hard on day one, what’s he going to say in six months? Obama is kidnapping our white women and feeding them to King Kong.” – Bill Maher (talking about Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign announcement)

“Mitt Romney wanted to get the maximum exposure for his (presidential) announcement so he made it in Anthony Weiner’s underpants.” – Bill Maher

“Anthony Weiner pledges to get to the bottom of this. He’s asked for an investigation, the police are involved, he’s got a dick lawyer he’s hired. They know it is a Democrat’s penis because it won’t stand up. And also because it was sent to a woman.” – Bill Maher

“Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school.” – Bill Maher (talking about Sarah Palin’s botched explanation of Paul Revere’s midnight ride)

Special Bonus: Jokes from NPR’s “Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me!”

“The question is – why can’t Congressman Anthony Weiner say with certitude if the crotch in question is his or not? Because he’s got so many crotch shots lying around, maybe one got away? Maybe been taking a picture of his crotch every hour for a month, to create one of those cool YouTube time lapse videos?”

“Congressman Weiner said the photo leak was a prank, he’s a victim, the picture could be taken out of context? In what possible context would you take this picture? Maybe he meant to send it to his Doctor, with the message, ‘Okay, it’s been four hours, time to get you involved.'”

“Sarah Palin’s cross country road trip is not a political event, she says, but just a summer vacation with her family, just like the ones you have. Except my summer vacations generally don’t have a title.”

“Sarah Palin’s family road trip has a title; it’s called the One Nation Tour, and she’s brought along her husband and her kids and all the typical summer road trip stuff, like sun tan lotion, stuff for s’mores, and Greta Van Susteren.”

“Despite the news this week that our cell phones are giving us cancer, users are NOT giving up. They’re like, okay, my cell phone could give me cancer, but actually interacting with people in person is what leads to Chlamydia.”