Skip to content

Late Night Political Humor

“Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was sentenced to 14 years in prison. This is the most disgraceful thing to happen to an Illinois governor since their last governor.” – Jay Leno

“Rod Blagojevich is going away for 14 Years in prison. His barber got the death penalty.” – David Letterman

“The former governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich got 14 Years in prison. He will probably get time off for good hair.” – Craig Ferguson

“Blago got 5 years for corruption and 9 years for appearing on “Celebrity Apprentice.'” – David Letterman

“He was convicted of trying to sell Barack Obama’s vacant senate seat. If he had waited a few years, he could probably sell it back to Barack Obama.” – Craig Ferguson

“Donald Trump is hosting a debate in Iowa, but so far Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum are the only presidential candidates to RSVP. Rick Santorum actually requested a plus one — you know, so he could bring all of his supporters.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Newt Gingrich did not make it on the Most Fascinating People list. He made it on another list of 2011 though: Most Fascinating Newts.” – David Letterman

“I like Newt Gingrich. You know who he looks like? He looks like your Dad’s old Army buddy, doesn’t he?” – David Letterman

“Mitt Romney now says the gloves are coming off. And then Ron Paul said, ‘And my teeth are coming out.'” – David Letterman

“There was an embarrassing moment for Rick Perry. He announced that it was the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Jam.” – Jay Leno

“In California a greased-up, naked, 300-lb. bodybuilder was terrorizing a neighborhood. Arnold, Arnold, Arnold.” – David Letterman

“Joe Biden visited Greece last week on the debt crisis. I don’t want to say the vice president doesn’t know much, but he kept asking for John Travolta.” – Jay Leno

“The Library of Congress has partnered with Twitter to store every tweet ever posted in their archive of historical documents. So, this is what Congress is doing?” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The Library of Congress is home to some of the most important documents in history including the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and now it will so include tweets from Gretchen44, who likes strawberry balsamic vinegar on her salad.” – Craig Ferguson