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Late Night Political Humor

“Hillary Clinton wrote an op-ed for a paper in Iowa about her plans to help the middle class. Middle-class Americans said, ‘Why didn’t you just say that in a speech?’ and she said, ‘Because I charge $200,000 for a speech.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Hillary Clinton has temporarily changed her campaign logo to rainbow colors in support of marriage equality. Of course, her idea of marriage equality is both of you should get to be president.” – Seth Meyers

“Due to civil unrest in Baltimore, tomorrow’s game between the Orioles and the White Sox will be played to an empty stadium. When asked for comments, players on the Milwaukee Brewers said, ‘You get used to it.'” – Conan O’Brien

“To save energy, New York City is now dimming the lights of the skyscrapers and the skyline at night. There’s a bad side to this. If you need Batman, you have to text him.” – David Letterman

“A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE a smartphone.” – Conan O’Brien

“Prince William’s pregnant wife, Kate Middleton, is past her due date. Doctors may have to induce labor. To speed up the birth, doctors have been telling the baby, ‘Come on out. You will never have to work a day in your life.'” – Conan O’Brien

“During a recent press conference, former President Jimmy Carter said he could never run for president today because he doesn’t have a lot of money. Well, that and the fact that he’s the famously bad president Jimmy Carter.” – Jimmy Fallon

[coincidentally, I was having a discussion the other day with someone and we were trying to figure out why Jimmy Carter is widely mocked as being a “famously bad president”. The only thing we could think of was the Iranian hostage crisis, where the American hostages, who had been held in Iran for 444 days, were released 20 minutes after Ronald Reagan was sworn in as president. However, several people, including a former Iranian president, a former Prime Minister of Israel, a former Naval intelligence officer and member of the National Security Council, and a former staffer of the Reagan campaign and administration, claim that the Reagan campaign conspired with Iran to delay the release of the hostages until after the election in order to keep Carter from being reelected.]



  1. Il-08 wrote:

    My eighth grade daughter learned in th last few weeks that Carter was a bad president (due mostly for not going to was with Iran thereby appearing ‘weak’), but more surprisingly, Nixon was a very good president who ended the Vietnam war and opened up China (no mention of dirty tricks and only a passing reference to watergate). And of course, Ray-gun was wonderful.

    This is what we get when we let Texas decide what goes in our history books.

    Thursday, May 14, 2015 at 6:09 am | Permalink
  2. Dave TN wrote:

    I had just graduated school and was having a hard time finding a job, his grasp (or his cabinet pick’s grasp) of the economy and the effects by inflation were poor.
    But with hindsight given, the economic disasters created by preceding POTUS have made his missteps in this regard pale by comparision. In regards to honesty, Jimmy Carter wins hands down over all following leaders. The trust issue is one thing that the republican election machine loves to bring up, ironically none of their current candidates rank out of negative column in comparison.
    The whole panama canal thing was way overblown by republicans and has not had any of the dire consequences they predicted, so we can eliminate that.
    Some of the truth is just now coming out about Iran hostages crisis, and considering the Cheney fopa with the second gulf war Iraqi debacle it seems minor in retrospect. Iran gained a hell of alot more influence and power in this past decade than anything that occurred during the Carter administration.
    All in all I would pick Carter today (with hopefully better cabinet picks) than any of the current bumper crop of bad apples floating up from the bowl, otherwise known as the 2016 election and that includes Hillary. Now that concludes my rant of the day from what I can remember from the dusty recesses of my memory of the seventies.

    Thursday, May 14, 2015 at 8:00 am | Permalink
  3. wildwood wrote:

    I think in the decades to come, the historians are going to research and come to the conclusion that Carter was a good, if not great president. Much better than he is thought to be today. I don’t think the passing of time will do much to burnish the undeserved reputation of Reagan. If anything, just the opposite.

    Can we give Texas back to Mexico?

    Thursday, May 14, 2015 at 9:06 am | Permalink
  4. Xuuths wrote:

    John Wayne supported the Panama Canal deal. If you’re saying anything bad about him, be careful!

    Thursday, May 14, 2015 at 2:48 pm | Permalink