“Hillary Clinton has a $350 billion plan that she says will make college more affordable. Which has to be better than my parents’ plan to make college affordable: ‘Be good at sports’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“A PAC supporting Hillary Clinton just received an anonymous donation of $1 million. Which means that if she wins any of us can say that it was us that gave her the million bucks and hit her up for a favor.” – Jimmy Fallon
“What’s really interesting is that this million-dollar donation from an anonymous donor came just two weeks after Hillary spoke out against, quote, ‘the endless flow of secret, unaccountable money’ into campaigns. Then she said, ‘Starting now! Unaccountable money is awful. Cash it quick!'” – Jimmy Fallon
“A new poll shows that Hillary Clinton is only six points ahead of Bernie Sanders. Today a very confident Hillary said, ‘Oh, please. Like I’m going to lose the Democratic nomination to a left-wing senator nobody’s ever heard of?'” – Conan O”Brien
“Liberal Democrat Bernie Sanders had a rally in Los Angeles last night attended by over 27,000 supporters. The rally set the world record for most Priuses in one parking lot.” – Conan O”Brien
“Hillary Clinton pushed back against Donald Trump’s claim that she went to his wedding because of his donations and said she actually attended because she thought, ‘It’d be fun.’ Added Hillary, ‘Am I saying that right — Fun?'” – Seth Meyers
“Donald Trump said today that he has made up with Fox News over his controversial comments toward Megyn Kelly. And if there’s anything Trump and Fox are great at, it’s making things up.” – Seth Meyers
“According to an online poll, Donald Trump is still the front-runner in the Republican primary race. It’s very impressive because it’s the only race left that he hasn’t offended yet.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Bristol Palin announced on her blog today that she is supporting Donald Trump for president. She said she wasn’t planning to but it just kind of happened.” – Seth Meyers
