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Late Night Political Humor

[Jokes from Oct. 4, 2016]

“Tonight is the debate between vice-presidential candidates Tim Kaine and Mike Pence. They’re going to debate the economy, foreign policy, and which one of them is Tim Kaine and which one is Mike Pence.” – Conan O’Brien

“The first and only vice-presidential debate of this election season was held tonight, and it was pretty much the same as the debate I had with my wife about painting the foyer. ‘Do we want eggshell or ivory?'” – Seth Meyers

“The New York Times revealed today that Tim Kaine travels with six harmonicas in his briefcase. He carries so many because they’re constantly getting slapped out of his hands.” – Seth Meyers

“It’s come out that Donald Trump once rented an office to an Iranian bank that was later accused of terrorism. Today, Trump said, ‘How was I supposed to know that something wasn’t right with Jihadi Joe’s Savings and Loan?'” – Conan O’Brien

“It’s rumored that Donald Trump’s tax returns were leaked by one of Trump’s ex-wives. In other words, it could be anybody.” – Conan O’Brien

“Eric Trump today defended his father’s recent 3 a.m. Twitter rant about former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, telling reporters, ‘At least my father is up at 3 o’clock in the morning.’ Why do you think that’s a good thing? You know who’s up that early? People who are wondering where they went wrong with their son.” – Seth Meyers

“During the final push of the election, Bill Clinton criticized Obamacare in a speech and said it’s ‘the craziest thing in the world’. It’s all part of Bill’s nationwide ‘Not Helping’ tour.” – Conan O’Brien