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Late Night Political Humor

[Jokes from Nov. 15, 2016]

“I read that Donald Trump doesn’t want to live at the White House full-time. He’s thinking about commuting from New York City. It’s all part of Trump’s plan to make America great again, and to make traffic in New York City worse than ever.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Trump apparently wants to commute to Washington, D.C., by helicopter. Trump asked the pilot if he’s got those radio headphones so they can talk to each other in the air and the pilot was like, ‘Nope’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump has announced that as president, he’ll take a salary of $1 a year. And he promises he’ll earn every penny.” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump has reportedly asked for his adult children to get top-level security clearance so that they can see classified documents and explain them to him. Trump is trying to get top-secret security clearance for his kids, which explains why today Vladimir Putin asked Trump to adopt him.” – Jimmy Fallon

“President-elect Trump tweeted that he would have won the popular vote if he had campaigned more in New York, Florida, and California. Trump explained, ‘I just got tired and ran out of terrible things to say.'” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama announced this week that, after meeting with Donald Trump, he plans to spend more time with his successor than presidents typically do in order to help ease the transition. When asked how long he thought the transition would take, President Obama said, ‘Four years’.” – James Corden

“Obama is going to walk Trump’s team through all this. So, basically, Obama is going to be going around the White House saying, ‘OK, now hit control-C. OK, now hit P to print.'” – James Corden

“President Obama actually said yesterday that if things get better under President Trump, he’ll be the first to congratulate him. Well, technically, he’ll be the second because Trump will congratulate himself first.” – Jimmy Fallon

“It was reported that Trump’s team was unaware that they needed to replace the entire West Wing staff. Trump’s team basically thought the White House was like a Best Buy that occasionally gets a new store manager.” – James Corden

“Dr. Ben Carson has reportedly told Donald Trump that he isn’t interested in serving in the Trump administration. And just like at the debates if his name is called, he won’t answer.” – Seth Meyers

“There are reports that Bill Clinton encouraged Donald Trump to run for president. When asked about it, Bill Clinton said, ‘It hasn’t been this tense around my house since … well, you know…'” – Conan O’Brien

“Former President George W. Bush announced that he and his wife, Laura, went to an animal shelter last week and welcomed their new dog, Freddy, into their family. Yeah, apparently even the Bush family needed an emotional support dog after that election.” – James Corden

“High school students across the country walked out of class today in protest of Donald Trump. Which is weird, since he’s living proof that you can do none of your homework and still become president.” – Seth Meyers


One Comment

  1. Yudith wrote:

    Normally, I’d applaud Trump’s initiative to take only one dollar a year as salary as President. But then I remember how much he bills his own security staff to stay in his building, how he leaves Ivanka with his visitors to sell her jewelry and gold courses and how the presidents and prime ministers or every other country got it that “when you visit Trump, you stay at his hotel”. Oh, and also that he never respects promises that cost him money.

    Friday, December 2, 2016 at 6:09 am | Permalink