© Rob Rogers And as usual, Ron Paul and Jon Huntsman are left out.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
© Jack Ohman Will Cainfather’s Pizza deliver?
Saturday, October 15, 2011
“It’s the 24th day of the Occupy Wall Street protests, also known as the largest homeless slumber party in the world.” – Jimmy Kimmel “Some protesters brought their kids to the demonstrations. Some of the kids got bored and decided to occupy Sesame Street instead.” – Jimmy Kimmel “Because of Columbus Day all the banks […]
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© Lalo Alcaraz What took us so long?
“Chris Christie announced he would not enter the race. In a statement he said ‘Look at me. Do I look like I’m ready to race anyone?’” – Bill Maher “And Chris Christie isn’t running. This guy had a lot of followers. Most of then were ivory poachers, but still …” – David Letterman “On Tuesday […]
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© Matt Bors I like the speech bubble going through the halo.
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Thursday, October 13, 2011
“Here’s why Sarah Palin says she won’t be running for president. She says she can be more effective at getting others elected by not running. And I thought, well, that’s true, because in 2008 she got Obama elected.” – David Letterman “Palin said she could help the country more by not running for president. Today, […]
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Wednesday, October 12, 2011
“Sarah Palin will not run for president, which is good news for Palin-haters, but bad news for the moose population.” – Jimmy Kimmel “Sarah Palin announced she’s not running. Finally, a Palin who pulls out before it’s too late.” – Jay Leno “Are you telling me that driving around the country in a bus with […]
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Tuesday, October 11, 2011
[Written by Fred Wickham, reposted from Bullseye Rooster] My debate plan. I can share this because I know no Republican candidates, nor their staffs, will be reading my blog. I have made it unavailable to them. Here’s the plan — and the debate’s sponsors have taken me up on it. So be ready for fireworks […]
“Chris Christie announced that he will not run for president. I don’t think you have to announce that, I think you just don’t run.” – Jimmy Kimmel ”Christie made a big announcement this afternoon. I haven’t watched it yet because I don’t want to know. I’m going to pretend he announced that he’s the new […]
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“Rick Perry is pretty serious about running for President. Today he freed all of the slaves on his ranch. Did you hear about that?” – Jay Leno “Not looking good for Perry. In fact, earlier today, Herman Cain said that he would rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than Rick Perry.” – Jay Leno “Herman […]
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Thursday, October 6, 2011
“Florida announced that they are moving their presidential primary to January, and it will be the first in the nation. If there’s one state that is known for organized, reliable voting …” – Craig Ferguson “As governor of Texas, Rick Perry executed 236 people. Turns out many of them were guilty.” – David Letterman “Mitt […]
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“Gov. Chris Christie keeps saying he’s not running for president. On the other hand, he would consider running for Santa.” – David Letterman “If he does run and he is elected, say good bye to the White House garden and say hello to the White House Olive Garden.” – David Letterman “Perfect fit: Oval Office, […]
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“Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie.” – David Letterman “New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie vetoed a tax break for ‘Jersey Shore.’ The veto made Snooki so angry that she turned orange-red.” – Conan O’Brien “Hallmark has launched a line of recession-themed cards that say, ‘Sorry […]
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Saturday, October 1, 2011
“You want to add another candidate? It’s like the Republican primary is a season of ‘American Idol’ in reverse, where every week you just add some new idiot… Have you ever considered the possibility that your candidates aren’t the problem — it’s you?” – Jon Stewart “It’s like your ideal candidate is a rare super-heavy […]
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