“Hey, have you all started making your summer vacation plans? I’m not sure what to do this year. I’m stuck between a Somali pirate cruise or a trip to a Mexican pig farm.” – Jay Leno “A beautiful day here in New York City, wasn’t it? But it was cold, so cold that I was […]
“As you know, a big holiday is coming next week here in Los Angeles and Mexico: Sicko de Mayo.” – Jay Leno “Hi, I’m Jimmy. I’m the host of the show. Let’s make this quick. I have to get back into my quarantine bubble.” – Jimmy Kimmel “See all those people on the news walking […]
“Great to be back. As you know, I was sick for two days last week. Had to go to the hospital after I ate a raw pig a friend brought back from Mexico.” – Jay Leno “I wasn’t that sick, but some people are, because of this swine flu, which has knocked the torture stuff […]
“Of course, the really big news is what’s going on in Washington, and Obama opening the door, now, to prosecuting former Bush officials about torture, or, as they call it, severe interrogation procedures, which include waterboarding, sleep deprivation, forced nudity. We have outlawed all of these practices, although they are still challenges on ‘The Love […]
Here’s a good (and calm) summary about what we do and don’t know about the swine flu. We do know that you can’t get it from eating pork.
“What was it, 101 today? Man, it was hot. People were sweating like Miss California at the gay pride parade.” – Jay Leno “A journalist from Playboy magazine attempted to withstand 15 seconds of waterboarding. And he’s going to write all about it in an article that no one will ever read.” – Craig Ferguson […]
“Well, as you know, President Obama’s been reaching out to Iran, reaching out to Cuba, reaching out to Latin America. The only place he can’t seem to be able to reach out to, Texas.” – Jay Leno “Barack Obama was in Venezuela this weekend for the Summit of the Americas, and he shook hands with […]
Abortion Bush Campaign Finance Cheney Climate Clinton Congress Conservatives Corporations Corruption Deficits Democrats Drugs Economy Education Election Elections Energy Environment Fox News Gays Guns Health Immigration Lies McCain Media Middle East Obama Palin Protests Racism Religion Republicans Romney Spying Supreme Court Taxes Tea Party Terrorism Terrorists Torture Trump Unemployment War
