Skip to content

Thoughts on the Massacre

Is it my imagination, or do we seem to be having a spate of random and largely unexplained massacres lately?

They are horrible, and I think that there are things we can do to prevent them in the future. But I’m afraid that we are unable or unwilling to have a reasonable conversation about how to go about doing that.

Why? On one side, we have people who claim that school teachers should be armed. Those people are nuts. There is absolutely no evidence that arming everyone would reduce murders. Even school teachers go off the deep end. I know I would if I were confined to a school full of unruly kids every day.

On the other side, you have people who say that strict gun control laws would have prevented this. But the guns used in the Newtown killings were legally purchased, registered, and owned. And they were not real assault weapons. So I’m not sure that is the solution either.

Is there nothing we can do? Hardly. I tend to agree with Roger Ebert, who just repeated something he wrote after the Columbine murders:

Let me tell you a story. The day after Columbine, I was interviewed for the Tom Brokaw news program. The reporter had been assigned a theory and was seeking sound bites to support it. “Wouldn’t you say,” she asked, “that killings like this are influenced by violent movies?” No, I said, I wouldn’t say that. “But what about ‘Basketball Diaries’?” she asked. “Doesn’t that have a scene of a boy walking into a school with a machine gun?”

The obscure 1995 Leonardo Di Caprio movie did indeed have a brief fantasy scene of that nature, I said, but the movie failed at the box office (it grossed only $2.5 million), and it’s unlikely the Columbine killers saw it.

The reporter looked disappointed, so I offered her my theory. “Events like this,” I said, “if they are influenced by anything, are influenced by news programs like your own. When an unbalanced kid walks into a school and starts shooting, it becomes a major media event. Cable news drops ordinary programming and goes around the clock with it. The story is assigned a logo and a theme song; these two kids were packaged as the Trench Coat Mafia. The message is clear to other disturbed kids around the country: If I shoot up my school, I can be famous. The TV will talk about nothing else but me. Experts will try to figure out what I was thinking. The kids and teachers at school will see they shouldn’t have messed with me. I’ll go out in a blaze of glory.”

In short, I said, events like Columbine are influenced far less by violent movies than by CNN, the NBC Nightly News and all the other news media, who glorify the killers in the guise of “explaining” them.

I commended the policy at the Sun-Times, where our editor said the paper would no longer feature school killings on Page 1. The reporter thanked me and turned off the camera. Of course the interview was never used. They found plenty of talking heads to condemn violent movies, and everybody was happy.

I know newspapers want to report the news, but it seems that by doing so they are contributing to the problem. I’m not trying to lessen the horrible nature of this tragedy, but as Juan Cole points out, approximately 176 innocent children have been killed by US drones raining death from the sky. Isn’t this at least as horrible as 20 children in Connecticut killed by an unstable kid? I think we should all ask our local news outlets to stop giving so much publicity to mass murderers.

What else can we do? For one thing, stop cutting mental health budgets. For years, we’ve been cutting treatment for mentally unstable people, dumping them on the streets to become homeless, or sending them to prison, which is far more expensive (and far less helpful) than the treatments they used to receive. I think providing better mental health facilities would do a lot to reduce the number of massacres.

As I’ve said before, I believe that the second amendment clearly states that US citizens have the right to own guns. You may not like that, but you can’t legislate it out of existence. You would have to amend the constitution. But that also doesn’t mean that we can’t put in place common sense restrictions. After all, we have free speech, but that doesn’t mean you can yell “Fire!” in a crowded theater. I would support requiring all gun owners to take a gun safety course, as well as pass a simple background check to make sure they have no criminal record or serious mental health issues. These tests should be no more difficult to pass than a driver’s license exam. Nobody should be allowed to purchase or own a weapon until they do this.

UPDATE: Anyone who wants to express an opinion about guns and gun control should read this article in The Atlantic “The Secret History of Guns“. Did you know that for most of its history the NRA supported gun control laws? As did Republican saint Ronald Reagan? And the Ku Klux Klan. And that the group most responsible for starting the modern movement promoting the right to bear arms in public was the Black Panthers? It’s true.

While you’re at it, read this article too.

UPDATE 2: And here’s a must-read article about a mother with a mentally unstable child, and the problems with mental health care in the US.

UPDATE 3: A post by cartoonist Matt Bors, concerning the media’s role in this craziness.

Share

Rudolph the Red State Reindeer


© Derf

I’m not really sure what this comic is trying to say, but it made me laugh regardless.

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“A close friend of mine said his doctor gave him less than two weeks to live. But it turns out his doctor’s a Mayan. He says that to everybody.” – Jay Leno

“The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn’t end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts.” – Jay Leno

“According to a new poll, most Americans think Santa Claus is a Democrat – which is really odd because when I think of a fat, old white man who hires unskilled labor, I think Republican.” – Conan O’Brien

“A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to please stop bothering me with stupid questions. ” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Some people said, ‘Oh, Santa’s a Democrat because he gives handouts,’ and other people said, ‘He’s a Republican because he’s an old white guy.'” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The fact of the matter is Santa isn’t a Democrat or a Republican. In fact, Santa isn’t even an American. I have news for you. The real Santa is Chinese. You think elves are the ones making that plastic crap we give our kids? No. Chinese people are.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Yesterday, Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper signed an amendment that officially legalized marijuana in the state. Stoners took a moment to thank Governor Hickenlooper — then they spent a few hours just saying the word ‘Hickenlooper.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online. But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I’m doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.” – Jimmy Kimmel

Share

Holiday Special


© Drew Sheneman

How can anyone believe there is a war on Christmas? I’ve been inundated with Christmas songs, decorations, and everything else for weeks already. If there is a war on Christmas, it is the effort to turn it into a consumer extravaganza, rather than a religious holiday.

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“Did you see the Manny Pacquiao fight? He got knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez in the 6th round. Pacquiao hit the canvas face first. Was that really that big of a deal? Passing out face first in Vegas — who hasn’t done that, really?” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney, Snooki, and Steven Seagal were all spotted at the boxing match. The whole crowd was made up of people we won’t remember in three years.” – Conan O’Brien

“Did you see the big fight this weekend? It was the first time that Manny Pacquiao got knocked out. Mitt Romney came by to meet him and he actually said, ‘Hello, Manny. I ran for president. I lost.’ If that is not the world’s worst pep talk, I don’t know what is.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Mitt Romney was at the fight and he met with Pacquiao right before they got in the ring. Now Romney and Pacquiao have something in common. Both ended up getting knocked out by Latinos.” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney met Manny Pacquiao just before Pacquiao lost his boxing match to Juan Manuel Marquez. Afterwards, Romney told Pacquiao, ‘You lost for the same reason I did – young Hispanics.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Al Qaeda’s number two man has been killed by an American drone in Pakistan. In a related story, today Al Qaeda’s number three man announced he’s stepping down to spend more time with his family.” – Jay Leno

“Today the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the European Union. The peace prize is awarded in Oslo. When someone told me, I said, ‘Norway?’ He said, ‘Yes, way’.” – Craig Ferguson

“The EU was founded in 1993 to ensure that no European nation ever start another war. By European nation, they mean ‘Germany’.” – Craig Ferguson

“I think the EU should expand and bring peace to the world’s more troubled region. Perhaps the set of ‘Two and a Half Men’.” – Craig Ferguson

“Who accepts the Nobel Prize if it goes to a group? It has to be someone not associated with any one country. Someone beloved by all of Europe for no reason at all. David Hasselhoff will go and collect the prize.” –Craig Ferguson

“Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he’s taking steps to run for president once again. He says he’s seeking the presidency for three reasons. He can remember only two of them, but he is seeking it.” – Jay Leno

“It’s starting to get Christmassy around here. The fake wreaths are hanging. The lattes at Starbucks are spiced. The holidays are upon us and won’t get off us.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Today Wal-Mart announced that on apocalypse day they will open at midnight. I think the Mayan calendar is becoming too commercialized, don’t you?” – David Letterman

“It’s time to start practicing your pretending-to-like-a-gift face.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“A survey found that 66 million Americans haven’t started their holiday shopping. Which means they only have 14 more days to find out which gas station near their house sells Chili’s gift cards.” – Jimmy Fallon

“McDonald’s reported today that it had better than expected sales in the month of November. Executives credit the success to increased advertising, new menu items, and two states legalizing weed.” – Jimmy Fallon

Share

Excessive Excavation


© Clay Bennett

Taxes are at historic lows since WWII. And we did pretty well while taxes were high. Why is letting them go back up to where they were during the Clinton administration such a issue?

Yes, our population is aging, and this will be a problem for Social Security and Medicare, but the solution isn’t to cut taxes even more, which is what the Republicans are proposing.

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“Today New Jersey Governor Chris Christie visited the White House. President Obama told him, ‘I’d invite you to lunch but the deficit is already too high.'” – Conan O’Brien

“The unemployment rate has fallen to its lowest level in nearly four years. The bad news is that most of those jobs involve wearing a red suit, a beard, and having kids pee in your lap.” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney got a job. He’s working at a Marriott. He is the guy that comes out to the pool and tells the kids to stop splashing.” – David Letterman

“The governor of Arizona punched a reporter who asked her about global warming. Afterwards she apologized. She said, ‘Sorry, I’m a little touchy because it’s almost Christmas and it’s 135 degrees outside.” – Conan O’Brien

“Because of climate change, “Frosty the Snowman” has a new name. Now he’s called ‘Frosty the Puddle.'” – David Letterman

“House Speaker John Boehner says that his efforts to work with President Obama on the fiscal cliff have resulted in a lot of talk but ‘no action’. Yeah, a lot of talk but no action – or as I called that in college, ‘a date’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Pentagon is preparing for massive budget cuts in the event that the country does go over the fiscal cliff. You can tell the Pentagon is scaling back because today it became the ‘Triangle.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“According to The Associated Press, China will soon overtake the United States as the world’s number one global trader. Which is actually good news for most Americans. Didn’t you think China overtook us already?” – Jay Leno

“According to a new study at UCLA, Latinos live longer than non-Latinos. More bad news for Republicans.” – Jay Leno

“Arnold Schwarzenegger has committed to appearing in at least one new ‘Terminator’ movie. In the next movie, Arnold from the future will time travel to the past and tell Arnold from the past to wear a condom.” – Craig Ferguson

“The International Olympic Committee has stripped India of its right to participate in the games. In response, India said, ‘Fine, just try logging on to your computers now.'” – Conan O’Brien

Share

Such a Meaningless Waste of Lives


© Brian McFadden

What other horrible and frightening things will happen when we legalize the demon weed?

Let’s find out!

Share

Next Steps


© Matt Bors

Obama may have won the election, but that is not the end of the story. We have to keep up the pressure on all our politicians — not just Obama but Congress too — to do the right thing.

For example, right now a strong majority of Americans want the Bush tax cuts for the rich to expire, but we aren’t going to make that happen unless Congress knows what we want. It is so easy to write your elected representatives.

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“They spotted Mitt Romney at Costco. One day you’re running for president of the United States. The next day you’re shopping at Costco for giant jugs of mayonnaise. While you’re at Costco, go ahead and return that Oval rug you ordered” – David Letterman

“Mitt Romney got a job at a Marriott hotel. President Obama’s trying to stop us from going over the fiscal cliff. Mitt Romney is trying to stop people from stealing towels.” – David Letterman

“Today in Washington, President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name: ‘Running Deficit’.” – Jay Leno

“Native Americans are understandably very upset. This country used to belong to them. And, of course, now it belongs to the Chinese, so they are very furious about that.” – Jay Leno

“There was one really awkward moment with the American Indians. In the middle of the meeting, Joe Biden walked in wearing a Redskins jersey.” – Jay Leno

“Barbara Walters has released part of her ‘Most Fascinating People’ list. This year Hillary Clinton and Honey Boo Boo are both on it. That’s right. The woman who may soon be president – and Hillary Clinton.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A new book coming out reveals that Florida Sen. Marco Rubio was born a Catholic, became a Mormon, then returned to the Catholic church, then became a Baptist, then again returned to the Catholic church. And I think he’s at it again because he’s now asking people to call him Marco Rubinstein.” – Conan O’Brien

“The CEO of The Cheesecake Factory is now warning that Obamacare will be very costly. Hey, The Cheesecake Factory is one of the reasons we need Obamacare in the first place.” – Jay Leno

“McDonald’s just announced that it’s bringing back the McRib later this month. Or, as the Mayans put it, ‘Hey, we tried to warn you.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“A record number of people are naming their babies after Apple products. It’s the perfect way to tell your newborn, ‘We’re planning to replace you in 6 months.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Santa Monica has banned nativity scenes on public land. Opponents want to use real people to make a display instead of statues to get around the rule. The problem is, it’s Los Angeles. So where are you going to find three Wise Men and a virgin?” – Jay Leno

Share

Balance


© Tony Auth

Republicans have already broken Grover Norquist’s pledge by offering to close tax loopholes, so why are they so dead set against letting the Bush tax cuts for the rich expire? Those tax cuts were never supposed to be permanent, and there are many wealthy people who think their taxes should go up. As this comic points out, they have been doing very well lately, and can afford to invest a little more back into their country. And everyone agrees that huge deficits are bad. So why is there an impasse?

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“Mitt Romney is going back to work. Romney is joining the board of directors at Marriott hotels. See, who says President Obama can’t create jobs? There’s one right there.” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney has a new job. He’s going back to work. He got a job at a Marriott. When you’re at the front desk arguing over your mini bar bill, Mitt will be the guy that comes from out back and says, ‘I understand there’s some trouble?'” – David Letterman

“I think it’s great that Romney’s getting back to the workforce and not becoming one of those 47 percent looking for a handout.” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney of course lost the election. Think about it this way. One day you’re the Republican candidate running for president of the United States, and the next day you’re sitting in Applebee’s blowing on your soup.” – David Letterman

“Since losing the election, Mitt Romney is reportedly bored. After hearing this, Ann Romney said, ‘You’re bored? I’m sitting around all day with Mitt Romney.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Earlier today Mitt Romney was spotted on a Costco shopping spree. Romney ended up buying 14 Costcos.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A lot of dissension among conservatives. One of the leaders of the Tea Party has resigned after a major split in the movement. The Tea Party is now divided between angry whites and even angrier whites.” – Conan O’Brien

“Texas Gov. Rick Perry says he’s taking steps to run for president in 2016. In fact, this week he’s meeting with donors. He better hope they’re brain donors.” – Jay Leno

“The CEO of the Olive Garden blames his company’s low profits on Obamacare – which is odd because most people won’t eat at the Olive Garden until they have health insurance.” – Conan O’Brien

“General Petraeus is telling his friends he screwed up royally by having an affair with his biographer. Well, duh! If you want to keep an affair secret, don’t have sex with the woman who’s writing your life story.” – Jay Leno

“Kim Kardashian has been touring the Middle East, touching off angry protests among conservative Muslims. You would think conservative Muslims would be happy to see a woman who’s never had a job.” – Conan O’Brien

Share

Another Cliff


© Stuart Carlson

Former Senate Republican Leader Bob Dole came to the Senate floor in a wheelchair last Tuesday to make a personal appeal for lawmakers to ratify a UN treaty to protect the rights of the disabled. Even Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN) said that veterans he had visited “expressed without reservation that their lives would be advanced in the event that we are able to pass this treaty because their treatment in other countries would improve as other countries adopt principles that we have found useful, a practical means of helping the disabled.”

Ratification of the treaty would not impose any new regulations on the US. In fact, the treaty was largely based on the Americans with Disability Act (ADA) that was signed into law by George H. W. Bush in 1990.

And ratifying the treaty would be good for US businesses. Even the US Chamber of Commerce likes the treaty, even though they opposed the original ADA, because it would put US companies on an even footing with foreign companies, and thus improve our competitiveness.

But no matter, because after Dole was wheeled out of the chamber — and even with every Democrat voting yes — only 8 Republicans voted for ratification (in addition to Lugar, John McCain, Susan Collins, Olympia Snowe, Scott Brown, Lisa Murkowski, and Kelly Ayotte voted in favor). Treaties require a two-thirds vote so it was defeated by the remaining 38 GOP senators voting no.

We should remind them of this the next time they claim they are supporting our troops, or that they are pro-business. Or the next time Republicans wonder why the opinion of the US around the world took a nose dive when they were in power.


© Jack Ohman

Share

Late Night Political Humor

“The Obamas have decorated the White House with 54 Christmas trees. It’s all part of their ‘For the last time, we’re not Muslim’ campaign.” – Conan O’Brien

“While he was in Pennsylvania on Friday, President Obama said that he’s been keeping his own ‘naughty and nice list’ of lawmakers. Then Biden was like, ‘Great, now I’ve got to worry about his list AND Santa’s?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Clinton and President Obama played a round of golf over the weekend. President Clinton asked Obama what his handicap was, and Obama said, ‘Joe Biden’.” – Jay Leno

“Gay groups are apparently angry at former President Clinton because he hasn’t come out in favor of gay marriage. Clinton said he’d be willing to have two lesbians come by and try to convince him.” – Conan O’Brien

“I’m worried about the fiscal cliff in the same way I’m worried about Martians. Every now and then I look for them but I don’t know what I’ll do when I see them.” – David Letterman

“Friends of Mitt Romney are saying that he’s bored now that he’s no longer running for president – though not as bored as the rest of us were when he WAS running for president.” – Jimmy Fallon

“It’s a very proud night for myself and my family and my staff and my friends. I received a Kennedy Center Honor. And today the Republicans are trying to block it.” – David Letterman

“With the Kennedy Center Honors, I am now 17th in line for president.” – David Letterman

“Today it was confirmed that Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting their first baby. You can tell the baby’s a member of the royal family, because Kate said she can already feel it waving.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Kate is said to be very nervous about giving birth. Giving birth to a baby wearing a crown is very hard.” – Craig Ferguson

“A new survey found that ‘Sophia’ and ‘Aiden’ were the most popular baby names this year. The least popular baby name was Kim Jong Sandusky.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Prince William and his lovely bride are pregnant. Buckingham Palace announced Kate is pregnant. They’ve been married for a year and a half. That’s like five marriages for a Kardashian.” – Craig Ferguson

Share

break

I’ll be traveling for a week, so posts might be a bit spotty. Hopefully, you have a real life to enjoy while I’m gone. 🙂

Share