“Back in 1776, Americans were fighting to escape British rule, these days we’re fighting to escape British oil.” – Jay Leno
“The East Coast is suffering from a terrible heat wave. Wall Street bankers are jumping out of windows just for the cool breeze on the way down.” – Jay Leno
“Queen Elizabeth is visiting New York City for the first time since 1976. I understand she’s trying to help them recruit LeBron James.” – Jay Leno
“Iran has banned the mullet. Today, the state of Kentucky broke off all diplomatic relations with Iran.” – Jay Leno
