Skip to content

It Takes Two To Tango

[Politicians who are shaming and blaming woman for having sex are forgetting something. Written by Emily L. Hauser, reprinted from her blog “In My Head“]

Dear GOP: You do know how pregnancy works, right?

I have been pregnant four times.

These pregnancies led to the following four results, in this order: abortion, baby, miscarriage, baby.

These pregnancies occurred over a span of many years, across two continents, and in three different homes. There were at least seven different health care professionals involved, my hair styles varied widely, as did my levels of nausea. The only constant, in all four cases, other than me, was the presence of a penis.

It happened to be the penis I eventually married, but regardless, that is how pregnancy works. No matter who you are, no matter your sexuality, ability to reproduce, or family make-up, if there are children in your life, at some point along the way, there was a penis involved.

I mention this only because it seems the GOP may have forgotten.

Because as we trundle along, shaming women for having any kind of sex, ever, that is not entirely focused on producing babies — even if we are married, even if it wasn’t so much “sex” as “rape,” even if having a baby would threaten our health and thus the well-being of the children we already have — we are completely and utterly ignoring the fact that the single, solitary way for humans to reproduce is for sperm to meet egg. And sperm, you may recall, come from penises.

Which are attached to men.

If women are having too much sex, so are men. If women are producing babies, so are men. If women are making irresponsible reproductive choices with which they want to burden “the American people” —

Birth control, abortions, prenatal care, postpartum care, child care — whatever we may think, whatever we may have been told — are not women’s issues. THEY ARE HUMAN ISSUES.

There is a purely incandescent rage that comes over me now on a nearly daily basis over the blatant dehumanization of women that is currently sweeping the nation. It is exhausting. It is heart breaking. It is spirit crushing. And there’s nothing to be done but to continue to feel it, because I refuse to stop fighting for my right, my daughter’s right, my mother’s right, my sister’s right — the inalienable right of all women everywhere — to human dignity.

But every once and a while, a particularly galling aspect of the GOP’s War on Women floats to the top of the filth, and I am gobsmacked anew. And today it is as simple as this: Women do not reproduce on their own.

If the Republican Party is so anxious to control women’s sexuality (and it clearly is), it had better start shaming men, too.

That is, unless its representatives are willing to argue that men are constitutionally incapable of not sticking their junk into the nearest available lady bits, and we gals have all the power.

I, for one, have too much respect for men to buy that.



  1. Richard wrote:

    Fantastic. What a great piece of writing. Thanks for posting.

    Saturday, March 17, 2012 at 5:48 am | Permalink
  2. a regular reader wrote:

    Thanks! Shared!

    Saturday, March 17, 2012 at 10:48 am | Permalink
  3. Elaine wrote:

    Wonderful piece. Don’t miss the 160+ comments on her site; such a great discussion.

    Saturday, March 17, 2012 at 11:19 am | Permalink
  4. Thierry wrote:

    2 things- sperm comes THROUGH penises, testicles are where they come FROM. A penis is simply a material handling device (I hear them shriveling all over the world right now, perhaps I shouldn’t have let the secret out). And as to your parting statement, I fear you respect for men may be in very many cases be unfounded and unreasonable. History is so full of men utterly incapable of preventing themselves from sticking their junk into the nearest available ladybit, willing or not…

    Sunday, March 18, 2012 at 11:42 pm | Permalink