“During an interview last weekend, President Obama was talking about the next race for president and refused to choose between Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, saying quote, ‘Love ’em both’. Which was nice until he said he’d support the nominee, regardless of who she is.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama unveiled a $4 trillion budget for 2016 that would increase taxes on the wealthy and spend more money on education. He also made a snowball and put it in the oven, just to see which would last longer, his budget or the snowball.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday Obama presented a $4 trillion budget that he says would help the middle class. Then the middle class said, ‘You know what? How about you just give us the $4 trillion? We’ll figure out what to do with it.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Mitt Romney is not going to run for president. Mitt said it’s time for fresh faces. So that’s good news for Bruce Jenner.” – David Letterman
“Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, ‘You would too if your parents had named you ‘Jeb’.” – Conan O’Brien
Obama would have happily tried Fallon’s suggestion. Paul Krugman would have approved it.