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Late Night Political Humor

[Jokes from June 20, 2016]

“Congrats to Chelsea Clinton, who welcomed her second child over the weekend. After the birth, Bill brought flowers, while Hillary brought a focus group to help name the baby.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a son this weekend. Unfortunately, due to his young age, he’s a Sanders supporter.” – Seth Meyers

“Even though he has no chance of winning the nomination, taxpayers are still paying for Bernie Sanders to have Secret Service. It’s not that expensive though, it’s just one guy that goes out late at night to buy Fig Newtons.” – Conan O’Brien

“The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Golden State Warriors last night and became the first NBA team to ever come back from a 3-to-1 deficit to win the championship. Said Bernie Sanders, ‘So you’re saying there’s a chance!'” – Seth Meyers

“Last night, the Cavs made one of the biggest comebacks of all time to defeat the Golden State Warriors, who many people thought were unbeatable. Then Bernie Sanders said, ‘Is everyone as turned on as I am right now?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump thanked crowds in Phoenix for their support this weekend, saying, ‘I feel like a supermodel, except like times ten.’ By the way, ‘supermodel times ten’ is also his spray tan setting.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump has dumped his campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski. Lewandowski said he’s going to return to his old job, as a manager in pro wrestling.” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump fired his campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski. Trump said Lewandowski was controversial, impulsive and short-tempered — and will make a great running mate.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A new poll came out and it claims that 25 percent of voters remain undecided. Apparently, they’re undecided on whether to move to Canada or Mexico.” – Conan O’Brien