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Late Night Political Humor

[Jokes from Jul 12, 2017]

Yesterday, Donald Trump Jr. released emails explicitly detailing an invitation by the Russian government to collude, and his enthusiastic acceptance, quote: “I love it.” Oh Don, not as much as I do. Delicious. – Stephen Colbert

According to friends of Donald Trump Jr., back in college he was a black-out drunk. So, he does have a long history of meeting with White Russians. – Conan O’Brien

I guess Don Jr.’s goal was to put a positive spin on this meeting with the Russian who believed or hoped had damaging information on Hillary Clinton during the campaign, but he still doesn’t seem to understand what’s wrong with what he did. What’s he supposed to do? I mean, when like a Nigerian prince says he’s going to transfer $30 million in your account, you give him the number to your account — unless you’re some kind of an idiot. – Jimmy Kimmel

We have had a full news cycle to give you a sense of the fallout. Let me present you with a bouquet of early blooming headlines: “The White House is paralyzed.” And I’m pretty sure Trumpcare does not cover that. – Stephen Colbert

Those were The Washington Post and CNN. How about hearing from someone on THEIR side, try The New York Post: “Donald Trump Jr. is an idiot.” Yes? Yes. – Stephen Colbert

Keep in mind, they’re DEFENDING him. Because the alternative to “idiot” is “inmate.” And it’s hard to argue that point — Donald Trump Jr. is quickly rising to the ranks of America’s most embarrassing Donald Trumps. – Stephen Colbert

It was reported today that Donald Trump Jr.’s wife once dated Leonardo DiCaprio. In other words, she’s used to being with guys who go down with a sinking ship. – Conan O’Brien

Hey, President Trump began the day with a tweet apparently. He has a Twitter account. Did you know this? – Jimmy Kimmel

President Trump tweeted that his son Donald Jr. is “open, transparent, and innocent”. Unfortunately those are three things you don’t want to be when you go to prison. – Conan O’Brien

Today President Trump tweeted that his son Donald Jr. is “open, transparent, and innocent”. Which is why President Trump is now demanding a paternity test. – Conan O’Brien

One thing President Trump definitely did watch was his son Junior’s interview with Sean Hannity last night on Fox News. Trump said his son was “open, transparent, and innocent.” That’s three lies in four words. That’s a new record! – Jimmy Kimmel

It’s being reported that President Trump is bothered that people think he watches too much television. Trump claims he saw it mentioned today on “The View,” “The Today Show,” CNN, “Live with Kelly and Ryan,” and “Clifford the Big Red Dog.” – Conan O’Brien

This morning he tweeted just out of the blue, “The White House is functioning perfectly, focused on healthcare, tax cuts, reform and many other things. I have very little time for watching TV.” Why would he specifically mention that he doesn’t have time for TV? I think I know why. Yesterday there was a report that he was holed up all day watching TV while the whole thing with his son was going on. I bet he saw that on TV. – Jimmy Kimmel

And meanwhile, of course, the White House defending Don Jr. One official said, “He just wants to hunt, fish and run his family’s real estate business.” Yes, why did we force him to get into politics? – Stephen Colbert