“We have a new frontrunner for the Republicans, Rick Santorum… the little creep that could.” – Bill Maher “Rick Santorum said he was concerned about the Pentagon’s new policy allowing women closer to front-line combat, noting that men would have emotions seeing a woman in harm’s way, which I have to say is a compelling […]
“Mitt Romney said today that he learned something. There are things that money can’t buy — like Colorado, Minnesota, Missouri.” – Jay Leno “Romney’s campaign is in such bad shape, today he moved the part in his hair even further to the right.” – Jay Leno “This Saturday is the drawing for one of the […]
© Joel Pett I guess it is a love-hate relationship. © Tony Auth
“Mitt Romney lost all three of the primaries. Today, he begged Donald Trump to take back his endorsement.” – David Letterman “Romney was at a loss to explain why he dropped the ball. In fact, his wife is now blaming it on the New England Patriot receivers.” – Jay Leno “It was a big setback […]
“The Obama administration has been slammed for a health insurance rule that forces Catholic organizations to provide contraception. Even more controversial, the church would also have to provide dim lighting, wine coolers, and an R. Kelly mix tape.” – Conan O’Brien “Former presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is on the show tonight. If you know anything […]
“President Obama has ordered new sanctions against Iran’s central bank for engaging in deceptive practices. I’ve got a better idea, how about sanctions against OUR banks for deceptive practices?” – Jay Leno “One of the most talked about [Super Bowl] commercials was the one with Clint Eastwood, where he said, ‘It’s halftime in America, and […]
“It is Mormon in America again. What a week Mitt Romney had. He won Florida. It looks like he’s on the way to the nomination. If only he could stop talking.” – Bill Maher “Romney won the Florida primary with 47 percent of the vote. Or as it’s known in Florida schools, a B minus.” […]
“Donald Trump announced that he’s endorsing Mitt Romney for president. It was really nice. Trump was like, ‘There’s only one man with the brains, the skills, and the charisma to be president — but since I’m not running, you might as well vote for Mitt Romney.’” – Jimmy Fallon “Romney was endorsed by Donald Trump. […]
“Mitt Romney is getting some heat today for something he said on CNN. He said he’s not concerned about the very poor. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to say that out loud. Romney said the quote was taken out of context. And that he absolutely cares about the poor. In fact, his campaign bus […]
“I don’t know whether Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich won but we do know one thing for certain: tomorrow both of them can go back to ignoring Latinos.” – Stephen Colbert “Despite his big loss in Florida Newt Gingrich vows to stay in the GOP race. And we all know when Newt takes a vow […]
“Over the weekend, Herman Cain announced that he is endorsing Newt Gingrich. Well sure, adulterers like to stick together. You never know when you need an alibi. You cover for me, I’ll cover for you.” – Jay Leno “Newt Gingrich picked up an endorsement from Herman Cain. It’s not unlike getting Carrot Top’s endorsement for […]
“Everyone got what they wanted this week; liberals got a home run State of the Union from their President of the United States and conservatives got Heidi Klum back from Seal.” – Bill Maher “There was another Republican debate in Florida tonight. What is left to know about these candidates? Is someone going to confess […]
© Clay Bennett As expected, Mitt Romney won the Republican primary in Florida by 14 percentage points. Gingrich did not offer any congratulations to Romney, and vowed to fight on. At this point, I’m officially losing interest.
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