“No one in the media is giving Herman Cain credit for having been faithful to the same mistress for 13 years.” – Jimmy Kimmel “Cain now says he’s consulting with his family whether to stay in the race. Really? You think that’s what he’s discussing with his wife, about staying in the race? How about […]
Commentary by Ed Stein: I couldn’t resist this one. After seeing ads for expensive new cars with big gift bows on top, diamond necklaces and fancy winter vacations, I started wondering what the average American will be getting from Santa this year. With so many unemployed, so many forced out of their homes, so many […]
“Republican candidate Rick Perry is denying rumors that his top advisers are being demoted. Yep, Perry was like, ‘I want to make it clear that at no point in this campaign have I had any advisers.’” – Jimmy Fallon “I don’t know if you know the Occupy L.A. protesters have been evicted. They all were […]
“Three wealthy investors who are already worth millions won the $254 million Powerball jackpot. Yeah, in a related story, everyone’s head at Occupy Wall Street just exploded.” – Conan O’Brien “President Obama will attend three fundraisers in New York City tomorrow to raise money for his re-election campaign. Seriously? How about holding a fundraiser to […]
“In Los Angeles on Black Friday, a woman pepper sprayed Wal-Mart shoppers who tried to cut in line. The police acted fast by immediately hiring her to get rid of peaceful protesters outside banking institutions all across the United States.” – Craig Ferguson “It’s Cyber Monday, when everyone shops online. As soon as I woke […]
Our friend (and I mean friend like Cain means ham sandwich) Andy Borowitz is channeling Herman Cain’s political ghost in this satire of a Herman Cain fare well speech: A Farewell from Herman Cain [by Andy Borowitz of The Borowitz Report] Dear Friend, And when I say “friend,” I mean it in the normal way, […]
I’ve always liked the idea of a forum for dialectic discussion but the implementation usually devolves into a forum for polemics resembling a cage fight more than a meeting of minds. Rather than disappoint by promising balance, I present Good Point Bad Point. Two points of view are presented but you’ll have to decide for […]
“When are these Republican debates going to stop? I mean, this would be the very reason to call for a dictatorship, just to put an end to these.” – David Letterman “This is the 14th Republican debate and there are still 12 more to go. The plan, I think, is to keep debating until somebody […]
© Tom Tomorrow I agree with the sentiment that they should have made better decisions. Like deciding to vote for someone who doesn’t blame the victims for their misfortunes.
“If you think about it in certain terms, Obama has had a good year. First bin Laden, then Moammar Gadhafi. Next, Robert Wagner.” – David Letterman “It looks like the supercommittee chosen by President Obama to come up with a plan to solve the deficit has failed. The best idea they came up with? A […]
“Rick Perry announced today to satisfy environmentalists he is now using solar power. And this is brilliant thinking, using solar power to run the Texas electric chair.” – David Letterman “I read that Texas Gov. Rick Perry has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a debate. Yeah, Perry got the idea when he was like, ‘I can’t […]
“The Occupy Wall Street people are so angry at Mayor Bloomberg and it’s starting to look really bad for his seventh term.” – David Letterman “In New York the Occupy Wall Street people blocked 3 subway stations today. Take that, all you fat cats who ride the subway all day. You’re next, people who use […]
Yesterday was Jon Stewart’s birthday. Shouldn’t this be a national holiday or something, say National Day After Jon Stewarts Birthday Day? Maybe not. If we formalized it, O’Reilly would probably declare war on NDAJSB-Day and spoil it for everyone. For now we celebrate under the Fox radar with some of the best Jon Stewart quotes: […]
©Walt Handelsman It feels like campaigns now run on forever. Incumbents are fundraising for the next campaign as soon as the last ends. Maybe elections should be held every 36 years. Candidates for president would choose multiple 4-year terms to run for. Likewise Senators would run for all possible 6-year terms at once. Then they […]
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