[reprinted from Bullseye Rooster.] “If American workers are being denied their right to organize and collectively bargain, when I’m in the White House, I’ll put on a comfortable pair of shoes myself, I’ll walk on that picket line with you as President of the United States of America.” – Barack Obama, November 2nd, 2007 in […]
“Happy Presidents Day. This is a day when we celebrate history by getting great deals on mattresses.” – Craig Ferguson “I’m glad we have a day for the presidents, but shouldn’t we have a day for Congress when the Senate and the House can kick back and not worry about getting anything done? Oh, wait.” […]
© Clay Bennett Actually, it seems like they own us outside of work as well.
“President Obama met with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in Silicon Valley yesterday. Zuckerberg said he could create new jobs. The bad news? They’re all in Farmville.” – Conan O’Brien “President Obama had dinner with some of the top tech executives: the CEO of Facebook, the CEO of Apple, the CEO of Oracle, and their waiter, […]
“Experts say that what happened in Egypt proves that countries in the Middle East can move toward democracy without the U.S. invading them. George W. Bush said, ‘Now you tell me.’” – Jay Leno “The military is now running Egypt. Well, that never goes wrong, does it?” – David Letterman “Now that Hosni Mubarak is […]
“On Thursday Hosni Mubarak said he would not leave Egypt until he was dead. On Friday the crowd said, ‘Deal!’ So he fled.” – Jay Leno “Former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is thinking of moving to Los Angeles. Before you get him a roommate, just know that he’s really hard to evict.” – Conan O’Brien […]
“It was Egypt’s first week without Mubarak. He finally stepped down because of that sexy picture of him on the Internet.” – Craig Ferguson “Egyptian officials say that Hosni Mubarak is going through a ‘severe psychological condition.’ It’s called ‘getting dumped a week before Valentine’s Day.’” – Jimmy Fallon “Hosni Mubarak stepped down. You have […]
“A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and divorced. He’s 46 and married, though being a Republican congressman, I’m guessing he’s really 60 […]
Despite Jon Stewart poking fun at us for trying to take credit for the relatively peaceful revolution in Egypt, I really do have to wonder what role the Internet played in all this. Is free exchange of information making it more difficult for dictators to control their populations? I hope so.
Daniel Kurtzman has a hilarious Glenn Beck Conspiracy Theory Generator over at his About.com political humor site. A lovely way to give yourself a giggle or two. Who needs the real Glenn Beck when a computer program can make just as much sense? Here’s just one example, but there are plenty more where this came […]
“President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything.” – Jay Leno “On the ‘Today’ show, Michelle Obama called the Bush twins ‘magnificent’ and Chelsea Clinton a ‘solid young woman.’ In fact, the […]
“Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is the richest man in the world, with more than $70 billion in hidden assets. That will go up even more once his unemployment kicks in.” – Jimmy Fallon “Hosni Mubarak is supposedly worth around $80 billion. He claims to have saved the money by properly inflating his tires.” – David […]
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