“A man was arrested for streaking at President Obama’s rally in Philadelphia. Thankfully, the police were able to restrain and clothe Joe Biden.” – Craig Ferguson “A Greek billionaire is giving a million dollars to a man that ran naked in front of President Obama in Philadelphia. Obama called the stunt ‘highly immature’ while Biden […]
© Tom Tomorrow So, how many of these things do you think will come true? I’m definitely betting on #4 (next to last). After all, they did it to Clinton and they’ve been doing everything but to Obama. And unfortunately, they will probably try #2, but will likely fail.
“Remember Lou Dobbs on CNN, who was always railing against illegal immigrants and the people who hire them. It turns out Lou Dobbs hires illegal immigrants. I was shocked. Lou Dobbs is married to Meg Whitman?” – Bill Maher “It’s now being alleged that Lou Dobbs had illegal immigrants working for him. The good news, […]
“President Obama has moved a 12-day tour of India and Asia to right after the November election. I can’t imagine why he would want to leave the country right after the midterm election.” – Jay Leno “Obama is going to tour India and Asia. I guess he wants to check up on American jobs.” – […]
© Gary Varvel Between voting machine irregularities and the flood of corporate money buying negative ads, it is tough being a voter this year. Will it ever get better?
“Christine O’Donnell has a new commercial where she says, ‘I’m not a witch.’ Isn’t that exactly what a witch would say?” ” – David Letterman “Christine O’Donnell has a new ad in which she tells voters, ‘I’m you, I’m just like you.’ Of course, a lot of people are going, ‘Really, you’re me? Well, I […]
“Christine O’Donnell released a commercial in which she says, ‘I’m not a witch.’ That’s pretty good, though not as effective as her opponent’s slogan, ‘I’m not Christine O’Donnell.’” – Jimmy Fallon “Christine O’Donnell is the Senate candidate from Delaware who’s against masturbation and has dabbled in witchcraft. She’s fighting back against the charges she’s a […]
“The White House has issued an alert for American tourists traveling in Europe over fears of a terror attack. But the joke’s on you, terrorists. We can’t afford to go to Europe.” – Jimmy Fallon “The State Department has issued a travel warning. They’ve warned Rick Sanchez not to travel to Israel.” – Jay Leno […]
“Today we found out that a third college that Christine O’Donnell said she attended has no record of ever knowing her. I’m starting to wonder if she ever really went to Hogwarts.” – Bill Maher “I feel bad for my part in this, and then the feeling passes when I imagine her in the Senate […]
“President Obama has been meeting with voters in what he calls ‘backyard chats.’ He’s held these in real people’s backyards. You know something, I think all politicians should talk to people in their backyards. Then you could take what they say and spread it on the lawn.” – Jay Leno “Yesterday President Obama told voters […]
Would be even funnier if it weren’t so true.
“Christine O’Donnell was caught lying about her educational background. She may not believe in pleasuring herself, but she thought her resume needed massaging.” – Craig Ferguson “Until last week it said on her online profile that she attended Oxford University, which of course one of the most prestigious colleges on earth. Stephen Hawking teaches at […]
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