“In a big meeting of the Republican National Committee, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal told the GOP to ‘stop being the stupid party’. Then Texas Governor Rick Perry gave the rebuttal.” – Jay Leno “The U.S. Postal Service raised the price of a stamp yesterday. Stamps are something that the pilgrims used before we had the […]
“Already the Obama administration has been rocked by scandal. Beyonce lip-syncing; or at least we think she was lip-synching. Manti Te’o said it sounded very real to him.” – Bill Maher “Lip-synching – let that be a lesson; if you are in Washington DC and you open your mouth and another voice comes out, it […]
“House Speaker John Boehner said that President Obama’s focus is to annihilate the Republican Party. Do Republicans look like they need any help from President Obama? They’re doing a hell of a job themselves.” – Jay Leno “The Pentagon has allowed women to serve in combat. Yeah, the hope is that we can now finally […]
“There’s a photo from the Inauguration in which Former President Bill Clinton appears to be checking out Kelly Clarkson. Clinton said, ‘That’s not true, I was checking out Beyonce and Kelly Clarkson got in the way’.” – Conan O’Brien “Beyonce is remaining silent about charges that she lip-synched the national anthem. However, the charges are […]
“I’m still reeling from yesterday’s inauguration disaster. First off, where was security? The Secret Service is supposed to protect the president and first lady, but in the middle of a kiss, they were viciously photobombed. Enjoy Gitmo, Malia.” – Stephen Colbert “The president gave a brief but powerful speech. He did not shy away from […]
“Today’s inauguration marked the first time ever a president used the word gay in an inauguration speech. It was the part of the speech where Obama pointed at the Washington monument and said, ‘Whoever designed that thing must have been pretty gay’.” – Conan O’Brien “During the inauguration, Good Morning America host George Stephanopoulos gave […]
“It was reported that President Obama’s 2013 Inauguration Committee is receiving fewer donations than it did in 2009. The scaled-back event will feature fewer inaugural balls, a shorter parade, and a musical performance from the Black Eyed Pea.” – Seth Meyers “Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant on Wednesday asked state legislatures to declare President Obama’s new […]
“The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It’s like a septic tank saying ‘You need a mint’.” – Bill Maher “In a recent attack ad, the NRA […]
“On Sunday the White House will hold a private swearing-in ceremony for President Obama. Not to be outdone, on Sunday Republicans will hold a private swearing-AT ceremony for President Obama.” – Jimmy Fallon “President Obama said this week that he wants to find a ‘pathway for citizenship’ for immigrants in the United States. Don’t we […]
“President Obama’s inaugural parade will feature eight floats, including a Hawaii float to honor his birthplace, an Illinois float to honor the first lady’s home state, and a Kenyan float just to mess with Republicans.” – Jimmy Fallon “President Obama told Congress it must raise our debt limit because the U.S. ‘is not a deadbeat […]
“Daniel Day-Lewis won a Golden Globe for playing Abraham Lincoln and Julianne Moore won for playing Sarah Palin. The foreign press realized that the greatest challenge for an actor in Hollywood is pretending to be a Republican.” – Jay Leno “The Golden Globes last night had a lot of great moments. During Jodie Foster’s emotional […]
“Ten days from now Barack Obama will be inaugurated. I’m telling you, it is really starting to look bad for Mitt Romney.” – David Letterman “President Obama will be sworn in with his hand resting on two Bibles. Is that how screwed up Washington is now? One Bible can’t get the job done anymore?” – […]
“Today was a big day in Hollywood. The Oscar nominations were announced. ‘Lincoln’ leads the list with 12 nominations. This is a first – not the most nominations, but the first time Hollywood has ever voted for a Republican president. That is amazing.” – Jay Leno “The 2013 Oscar nominations were announced today. ‘Lincoln’ earned […]
© Jack Ohman Is this how some right-wing conservatives view the rest of us?
“The White House announced that the theme for President Obama’s inauguration will be ‘Faith in America’s Future.’ Which is proof that no one in the White House has ever seen ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’.” – Jimmy Fallon “President Obama’s team is promising special perks for donors who give at least a million dollars to […]
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