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Republicans Want the Economy to Suck

Last week, the number of Americans applying for unemployment benefits went up, causing widespread speculation that even though corporate profits are up, the economy is not recovering from the great recession and may even be heading for a dreaded “double dip recession”. One of the main things being blamed for this problem is high energy prices, as the price of gasoline — fueled by conflicts in the middle east — has refused to come down in any significant way. With the normal increase in oil consumption in the summer as people drive more and use more air conditioning, the economy could get even worse.

Companies have pulled back on hiring because of high gas and food prices, driven by excessive speculation in those commodities. So Obama did something smart — he released 5% of the US Strategic Petroleum Reserves. And he got other nations to release an equivalent amount of oil.

His timing was perfect. Oil prices had been falling slightly, making speculators nervous. By releasing oil now, he is effectively shorting the price of oil, which will force speculators to sell, further lowering the price of oil.

Now here is where it gets ironic. You’d think Republicans would be happy, since this will help lower the deficit they claim to be so worried about. But they hate Obama so much that they instinctively disagree with everything he does. So they (pretty much unanimously) attacked the move as purely political. House Speaker John Boehner said “By tapping the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, the president is using a national security instrument to address his domestic political problems.”

Fixing unemployment, the economy, and high gas prices is purely political? Does anyone else hear what the Republicans are admitting? If getting the economy going again will help Obama politically, then they want the economy to continue to suck. Even worse, they want the speculators to continue to drive up prices and create bubbles.

You can figure out the rest.

UPDATE: Remember this when the Republicans force the government to default. They aren’t actually interested in reducing the deficit, they are interested in making the economy worse. Does anyone wonder if it was a coincidence that the economy stopped recovering when Republicans retook the House in November?

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Arms Race with No Arms


© Joel Pett

Somebody is going to end up with egg on their face.

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Late Night Political Humor

“You know the big news today, Congressman Weiner resigned. You heard about that, right? He resigned. It’s sort of a good news/bad news thing. The good news is Congressman Weiner resigned. The bad news, he made the announcement shirtless over Skype.” – Conan O’Brien

“Congressman Weiner resigned from Congress at a senior citizens’ center in Queens. It was smart, because they had no idea what Twitter is.” – Jay Leno

“Our long national nightmare is over. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. Anthony Weiner has resigned. That’s right, he decided to take his balls and go home. And it is now safe to go back on Facebook.” – Bill Maher

“And I still don’t think Weiner gets it. Did you hear what he said at the end of his press conference? ‘Anybody want one last look?'” – Jay Leno

“Congress has just lost its Weiner. One minute he’s in, one minute he’s out … typical Weiner.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday Congressman Weiner contacted Nancy Pelosi to let her know he was resigning. Weiner let her know by texting her a picture of his penis cleaning out its desk.” – Conan O’Brien

“Thank you, Anthony Weiner, for your premature evacuation.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The good news is that they already found a replacement for Anthony Weiner. The bad news is that it’s Brett Favre.” – Jay Leno

“Anthony Weiner’s still involved with the internet. Today he started his own site called MyTube.” – Jay Leno

“I have to warn you. Newt Gingrich today put up a large Web ad. So you still may be seeing pictures of a huge dick.” – Bill Maher

“Did you see the Republican debate last night? Oh my God! Those guys up there and Michele Bachmann, and it was exciting, and you know who did well? Michele Bachmann. Bachmann did well. Newt Gingrich was so impressed with Michele Bachmann, he gave her a $200,000 gift certificate from Tiffany’s.” – David Letterman

“New Rule: Stop comparing Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann just because they’re both Republican women. And crazy. And know-nothings. And Jesus freaks, who claim to receive messages from God. Who both get their historical facts wrong all the time. Who both give off a sound that only animals can hear and makes microwaves explode. Seriously, stop comparing them.” – Bill Maher

“President Obama met with the president of Mongolia. Of course, Sarah Palin had to chime in, saying her favorite movie was ‘Steel Mongolians.'” – Jay Leno

“Many people have noticed that Palin likes to use ‘flippin” instead of the ‘f’ word. For instance, one email says, ‘I wish my daughter and Levi Johnston would stop flippin’.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Rush Limbaugh has come out with his own brand of iced tea, with a picture of him on horseback dressed as Paul Revere. How confusing is this going to be for Sarah Palin?” – Jay Leno

“According to a poll, over 50 percent of viewers thought Mitt Romney won this week’s presidential debate. They thought Mitt Romney won, yeah. Romney credits the win to his grasp of the issues and the good people at Mattel, who built him.” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney was sitting down with some unemployed workers the other day. Mitt is worth a quarter of a billion dollars, and he said, ‘hey, I’m unemployed too.’ That is the famous Mormon sense of humor. A little tip Mitt, your people are only funny when the ‘South Park’ guys write your jokes. ” – Bill Maher

“Father’s Day this year is a bonus year for Arnold Shwarzenegger. Last year my son wouldn’t give me my gift until I gave him a DNA swab.” – David Letterman

“A recent study found that today’s fathers spend twice as much time with their kids as fathers in 1960. Meanwhile, the study found that Arnold Schwarzenegger spends time with twice as many kids as he did three weeks ago.” – Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new study, American fathers are spending more than twice the amount of time with their children than they used to in years past. Experts say it’s due to a sweeping new trend called ‘unemployment.'” – Conan O’Brien

“The shame would be if Democrats get thrown out of office without ever having tried Democratic policies. ” – Bill Maher

“Well, several congressmen have filed a lawsuit against President Obama for getting us involved in Libya. They claim Obama got the U.S. in a Middle East war without authorization from Congress. To which Dick Cheney and Bush said, ‘You can get sued for that?'” – Jay Leno

“Officials still can’t say what happened to $6.6 billion that was sent to Iraq for reconstruction. That’s money we could have wasted and mismanaged right here at home.” – Jay Leno

“Al Qaeda announced that they’ve found a replacement for Osama bin Laden, thanks to all of you who called in and texted your votes.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Today bin Laden’s deputy was made head of Al Qaeda. I know because today he updated his status on LinkedIn.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Defense Secretary Robert Gates says that Al Qaeda’s new leader will be hunted down and killed just like bin Laden. They think he may be in Pakistan. They know that because Pakistan says they have no idea where he is.” – Jay Leno

“Al Qaeda is not what it used to be. You can see they don’t have the money anymore. Instead of 70 virgins, martyrs now get a gift certificate to Olive Garden.” – Jay Leno

“Today is the anniversary of the Great Wall of China. And since it was built, not one Mexican has sneaked in.” – David Letterman

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The Real News


© Matt Bors

Hopefully, we’ll be out of Afghanistan before we start sending soldiers who weren’t born when the war there started. Obama’s announcement of a partial withdrawal (announced after this comic was published) is a good first step.

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Your Corporate-Owned Media At Work

This really pissed me off. As Jon Stewart pointed out, the mainstream media isn’t interested in news, they are only interested in sensation and scandal. Want proof?

Nancy Pelosi calls a press conference to talk about jobs and the economy, but it coincidentally gets scheduled the day that Anthony Weiner is going to announce his resignation. The major networks jump on it with breathless excitement, assuming that Pelosi (who had previously called for Weiner to resign) will change the subject to talk about the scandal. When Pelosi announces that she won’t be talking about Weiner, they immediately and shamelessly cut away. Watch it:

Survey after survey shows that the biggest issues that the voters care about are the economy and jobs, and yet the mainstream media doesn’t want you to hear what Pelosi has to say about that. All they want you to hear about the Democrats are two words: “sex” and “scandal”. This isn’t news, it’s gossip.

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Daily Show v. Faux News

A few days ago, Jon Stewart appeared on ‘Fox News Sunday” with Chris Wallace. But as Stewart points out on his show, Fox selectively edited the interview before broadcasting it, removing the most interesting part: where Chris Wallace admits that — contrary to their claims — Fox News is not fair or balanced, but is intentionally and unmistakably conservative, acting as a counterweight to the liberal media. Watch it here:

Even more fun ensues as Stewart points out how often Fox News lies:

In this video, Stewart also notes that PolitiFact rated one of his statements false, and he apologizes for the mistake. Interestingly, PolitiFact did a followup because, as they put it “When we gave a False rating to a statement by Daily Show host Jon Stewart, the response from readers was swift and virtually unanimous. They said we were wrong.” So was Stewart wrong? As Fox News likes to say, I’ll just present the facts and let you decide.

UPDATE: Andrew Sullivan sums it up nicely:

I have to say I thought Jon Stewart’s correction on Fox News viewers was about as perfect as these things can be. He copped to his own hyperbole, and then provided a list of outright uncorrected untruths that Fox has propagated. The point here is not the untruths – although they are embarrassing for a news channel – but the lack of any correction.

Which is to say that a comedy channel has more dedication to accountability for factual errors than a putative news network. Which tells you almost everything you need to know.

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Healthy Decision

James Verone is a 59-year-old man with medical problems. He has a growth of some sort on his chest, two ruptured disks, and a problem with his left foot. But he has no job, no health insurance, his bank account is empty, and he isn’t quite old enough for Medicare.

So he figured out an unusual solution. He went into a bank and robbed it, demanding the teller give him just one dollar. Then he sat down and waited for the police to come take him to jail. Why? Because in jail he would get free medical care.

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Brave New Third World


© Ruben Bolling

When I was younger, I used to wonder how great civilizations of the past, like the ancient Greek, Roman, and Egyptian cultures, fell apart and were replaced by the Dark Ages.

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One War that has been Drug-Out

Obama famously said that he wasn’t against all wars, just stupid wars. Well, we have a war we have been fighting since the 60’s that is pretty stupid: the War on Drugs. Hah, you might say, that’s not a real war, like Iraq or Afghanistan. And yet, the War on Drugs has had far more casualties, and has cost far more money than almost any other war we have ever had. And it is a war that we have been fighting right here in our own country.

And now, the Global Commission on Drug Policy (GCDP) has come out with their report, and they recommend decriminalizing drugs on a global scale as the only long-term solution to the drug problem. Who are the GCDP? Some whacked out hippy drug users? Hardly. The commission is headed by George Schultz, a former US Secretary of State, and includes numerous former presidents and prime ministers of countries around the world, not to mention a former Secretary General of the UN.

You can read the GCDP report, or you can read an article about it from the New York Times, written by a former president of the US.

Seriously, that’s a lot of people willing to admit that the war on drugs has failed. So what’s holding us back? Pure stupidity? Or are we addicted to the war on drugs even more than we are to drugs?

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Late Night Political Humor

“Photos of Congressman Weiner have surfaced of him cross-dressing in college, in bra and pantyhose, proving that even back then he knew he wanted to be a Congressman.” – Jay Leno

“Anthony Weiner has asked that everyone respect his privacy. I guess that wasn’t his concern when he was texting pictures of himself.” – David Letterman

“Congressman Weiner’s wife returned today from her diplomatic trip to Ethiopia. She said she got really tired of Ethiopians telling her, ‘I feel so sorry for you.'” – Conan O’Brien

“According to a new report, only 12 percent of American high school students can pass a basic history test. That’s the lowest percentage since our country was founded in 1922.” – Jay Leno

“A new survey found that 87 percent of high school seniors are less than proficient in U.S. history. Not me. In fact, when I was a senior, I did a 10-page paper on my favorite president, George Jefferson.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A new study shows that only 35 percent of fourth-graders know the purpose of the Declaration of Independence. When she heard this, Sarah Palin said, ‘How are they supposed to know about something that happened 20 years ago.'” – Conan O’Brien

“It was on this day in 1992 that Vice President Dan Quayle misspelled the word ‘potato,’ thus paving the way for Sarah Palin.” – Jay Leno

“A Tea Party group has a summer camp for kids, the only one where they sit around the campfire and tell scary stories about taxing the top 2%.” – Conan O’Brien

“Rep. Michele Bachmann once said that gay people lead a very sad life. Apparently, she has never celebrated Halloween in San Francisco.” – Conan O’Brien

“One more vote is needed in the N.Y. State Senate to legalize gay marriage. That one vote could be the Republican Senator from Staten Island. If he’s willing to be known for the rest of his career as the Staten Island Fairy.” – Jon Stewart

“Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate.” – David Letterman

“It turns out that 70 percent of guns found in Mexico actually come from the U.S. Meanwhile, 70 percent of people found in the U.S. actually come from Mexico.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Conservative Political Carnival


© Tom Tomorrow

This must be what the rest of the world thinks of our political system. It’s CRAAAAZY!

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Who says Republicans don’t care about the poor?


© Joel Pett

Republicans made huge gains in the 2010 elections, promising to improve the economy. Isn’t it funny that the economy is now going back down? What isn’t funny is that 33 states — all with Republican controlled legislatures — have passed laws that make it more difficult to vote.

How can you tell that these laws are politically motivated? Well, in Texas, you can use a concealed handgun permit to identify yourself to vote, but you can’t use a student ID. And in Florida, they also restricted efforts by the League of Women Voters to register new voters. Proponents say the new laws are necessary to prevent voter fraud, but election law experts say that there is little evidence of voter fraud in US elections.

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Speculating on Starvation

We’ve seen lots of talk about bubbles destroying our economy, but what are we doing to try to make sure we don’t have another one?

A bubble is caused by artificially inflated demand for a commodity. For example, the real estate bubble was caused by people who bought houses because they wanted a good investment — after all, “housing prices always go up”. But eventually the demand collapsed. The price of housing went up so far that people who, you know, actually wanted to live in a house couldn’t afford them any more. Duh.

Another bubble is oil prices. The UN estimates that speculators have driven up the price of a barrel of oil by 20 to 25%. But again, once oil gets ridiculously expensive, people stop buying it. They carpool or walk.

Now investors have found a new commodity to invest in: Food. In 2003, fund managers had $13 billion invested in food. By 2008, just five years later, that number had increased to $316 billion (yup 25 times). As a result, prices of food like bread and beef skyrocketed (and it isn’t rocket science).

What’s sickening about this is that the demand for food is stronger than the demand for housing — the spike in world food prices has brought on a spike in world hunger causing around a billion people go to bed hungry every night. Investors are betting on the price of food going up even more. According to the UN, speculation has already increased the price of food by around ten percent: “Food markets have been turned into a casino. And for no other reason than to make Wall Street money.”

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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama said he’d be OK being a one-term President. And with that he shoved an iPhone down his pants and pressed ‘send’.” – Conan O’Brien

“When asked about the Congressman Weiner scandal, President Obama said that if it were him, he’d resign. When Bill Clinton was asked about the same thing he said, ‘If it was me, I wouldn’t be surprised.'” – David Letterman

“Anthony Weiner asked Bill Clinton for advice, and actually followed it for awhile. Of course eventually he was forced to tell the truth.” – Jay Leno

“Derek Jeter is only six hits away from 3,000 base hits. What a coincidence — Anthony Weiner is only six nude photos away from 3,000.” – David Letterman

“The New York Daily News is reporting that Anthony Weiner’s car isn’t registered at the DMV. Oh man — he must be so embarrassed right now.” – Jimmy Fallon

“What is Weiner guilty of? He’s guilty of being too photogenic. But is taking pictures of your junk and e-mailing them something you’d expect from a Congressman? No. This is something you’d expect from a priest.” – David Letterman

“Congressman Weiner has checked into the That’s Not Mayo Clinic.” – Conan O’Brien

“Arnold Schwarzenegger’s maid said when her son was told that Schwarzenegger was his father he said ‘cool.’ It was a big improvement. Up to this point, the kid thought his father was Jean-Claude Van Damme.” – Jay Leno

“Arnold Schwarzenegger’s housekeeper says Maria Shriver became suspicious after noticing similarities between Arnold and her 13-year-old son. For instance, after serving as class president, he left the sixth grade with a $42 billion deficit.” – Conan O’Brien

“The housekeeper said the affair wasn’t all Arnold’s fault because ‘it takes two.’ Then Anthony Weiner said, ‘Actually, it only takes one.'” – Conan O’Brien

“One of bin Laden’s wives said he was a sex machine. In fact, he was the only man who could find her jihad spot.” – Jay Leno

“Happy birthday to Donald Trump, who turned 65, allegedly. We still haven’t seen the birth certificate so we don’t know for sure.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Happy Birthday to Donald Trump, who was born 65 years ago today! It was sweet. Today Obama sent him a nice Hallmark card that said, ‘Prove it.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump is 65 today. Had a big party. He likes to play Pin Everything on Obama.” –David Letterman

“President Obama said regarding the economy, ‘The sky is not falling.’ The poll numbers are falling, the market is falling, support for the war in Libya is falling, Anthony Weiner’s pants are falling, but the sky is fine.” – Jay Leno

“According to the latest survey on the economy, 48 percent of the people surveyed think we’ll have a great depression. The other 52 percent think it will just be a pretty good depression.” – Jay Leno

“The first Republican presidential debate was held on Monday night. Seven Republican presidential candidates got together to agree on how much they dislike the government they would like to run. Imagine if you did that in a job interview.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“During the GOP debate, Herman Cain was asked if he likes deep dish or thin crust pizza. Then Newt Gingrich interrupted and said, ‘Wait, there’s pizza?'” – Conan O’Brien

“Newt Gingrich was so impressed with Michele Bachmann at the Republican debate that he gave her a $200,000 gift certificate for Tiffany’s.” – David Letterman

“During the Republican debate on Monday night, Mitt Romney interrupted the proceedings to announce the score of the hockey game. Well … I guess he’s already written off the black vote.” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney is the front runner at this point, mostly because he looks like the guy they would cast as the president in a disaster movie.” – Jimmy Kimmel

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Robert Reich Explains the Economy

Robert Reich explains what went wrong with our economy in just over two minutes:

Reich was Secretary of Labor under Bill Clinton, when the economy was booming and the deficit was eliminated. He also served in the administration of Republican President Ford. And you know what? Despite all the misinformation being thrown around right now, what he says makes a lot of sense. Will we listen?

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