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Getting it oh-so-wrong

Here’s what the pundits had to say two years ago when Barack Obama announced he was running for President:

“Illinois Senator Barack Obama’s announcement this week that he’s likely to enter the Presidential race adds a dash of glamour and excitement to the Democratic field. But all of his media attention doesn’t change the basic truth of the 2008 primary contest: The race is between Hillary Rodham Clinton and everybody else.” -The Wall Street Journal Editorial Board, Jan. 18, 2007.

“To the surprise of many whites and dismay of his supporters, Barack Obama trailed Hillary Clinton among black Americans by a 40-point margin in a recent Washington Post-ABC poll… The sad truth… is that Obama is being rejected because many black Americans don’t consider him one of their own and may even feel threatened by what he embodies.” -Orlando Patterson, Time.com, Feb. 8, 2007.

“Ask yourself, is there any other major public figure who dresses the way [Obama] does? Why, yes. It is Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who, unlike most of his predecessors, seems to have skipped through enough copies of ‘GQ’ to find the jacket-and-no-tie look agreeable. And maybe that’s not the comparison a possible presidential contender really wants to evoke… Now, it is one thing to have a last name that sounds like Osama and a middle name, Hussein, that is probably less than helpful. But an outfit that reminds people of a charter member of the axis of evil, why, this could leave his presidential hopes hanging by a thread. Or is that threads?” -CNN Senior Analyst Jeff Greenfield, “The Situation Room,” CNN, Dec. 11, 2006.

“The country will simply not elect a novice in wartime… [Obama] only has to do reasonably well in the primaries to become such a compelling national figure as to be invited onto the ticket as vice presidential nominee… Then, if the Democrats win, he will have all the foreign policy credentials he needs for life.” -Charles Krauthammer, Oct. 27, 2006.

“That Sen. Barack Hussein Obama Jr. chose the day of ‘American Idol’s’ season premiere to launch his presidential exploratory committee is nicely symbolic. If this were a contest about looks and style, Obama might have an edge. If it were a competition about which candidate is the best orator, he’d win. But it is neither.” -Cal Thomas, Washington Times, Jan. 19, 2007.

“[Obama] is a black man with a Muslim name who would be seeking the presidency in a historically racist nation currently at war against Muslim extremists. One wonders if there is enough handsomeness, intelligence and charisma in the world to overcome all that.” -Leonard Pitts, Miami Herald, Jan. 19, 2007.

“What’s a guy with only two years’ experience in the U.S. Senate and none as governor, someone few outside his immediate family and the Internal Revenue Service ever heard of three years ago, doing running for president? And why is everybody — or anybody, for the matter — taking him seriously?” -John Farmer, The New Jersey Star Ledger, Dec. 12, 2006.

“Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single democratic primary. I’ll predict that right now.” -William Kristol on Fox News Sunday, Dec 17, 2006.

From Political Base, who ironically point out one person who got it right — Newt Gingrich!

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If you lived here, you’d be home!

As part of its “Embrace Change” ad campaign, Swedish furniture manufacturer IKEA has set up a replica of the President’s Oval Office in the main hall of DC’s Union Station — except that it has been refurnished with furniture from IKEA. Oh, and a new flag:

IKEA oval office

IKEA Oval Office

From Apartment Therapy. More photos there too.

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Late Night Political Humor

Bush

“Did you all see President Bush’s farewell address last night? President Bush said he always did what he thought was right. Far right, but right.” -Jay Leno

“President Bush last night made his farewell address to the nation. For 15 minutes, America turned its gaze from the guy who landed the plane in the river to the guy who landed the country in the ditch.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“In fact, last night, President Bush’s speech forced the preemption of the NBC comedy series ‘Kath and Kim.'” Presidential historians are calling this Bush’s finest achievement ever, actually.” -Jay Leno

“And, of course, of course, now the real pressure is on. President Bush only has three days left to respond to Hurricane Katrina.” -Jay Leno

“White House decorators are busy right now peeling the glow in the dark stars off the ceiling in the presidential bedroom.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“And President Bush said he’s gonna live in Dallas when he leaves the White House. And, of course, the community in Dallas is welcoming him. You know, as a president who had a disappointing and horrible year, he’ll be named an honorary member of the Dallas Cowboys. So, that’s good news.” -Jay Leno

Obama

“We’re four days away from Barack Obama’s inauguration as the 44th president of the United States, and five days away from the biggest hangover of Oprah’s life.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Security is going to be very tight in Washington, DC. They have 20,000 men deployed for this thing. 10,000 to ensure that Obama is safe, and 10,000 to make sure Bush leaves. And with so many of our nation’s police on the scene in Washington, it might be a good time to commit a crime in your neck of the woods, you know what I’m saying? Or maybe not.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Barack Obama is still trying to get a dog for the kids. You know about that? He promised the little girls they’d get a dog when they moved into the White House. And he’s looking for a dog that’s loyal, friendly, and also one that can fetch cigarettes.” -David Letterman

“And they’re talking about a dog called a labradoodle. That’s not a dog. That’s George W. Bush playing Scrabble. Come on!” -David Letterman

“Barack Obama plans to issue an executive order on his first full day in office, directing the closing of Guantanamo Bay. He said he needs the money for new prisons to hold Democratic mayors and governors.” -Jay Leno

“Listen to what Barack Obama did today. He worked on the stimulus plan, had a classified intelligence briefing and met with Congressional leaders. Meanwhile, John McCain backed over his mailbox.” -David Letterman

Cheney

“By the way, finally some financial good news, good news. The federal deficit will ease up now, because Dick Cheney has to pay for his own health care.” -David Letterman

“Big interview with Dick Cheney over the weekend. Dick Cheney said that he’s … actually lovable. Dick Cheney. Actually loveable. I’m thinking about this. It really does melt your heart when he flashes that winning sneer.” -David Letterman

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Paterson Pranks Press

In an interview with NBC’s Andrea Mitchell, New York governor David Paterson got everyone excited when he appeared to be making his announcement on whom he will appoint to the Senate to replace Hillary Clinton:

I have reached a decision. I thought that since there are just 17 women in the Senate … I am going to go with Michelle Obama.

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Obama Swag

run dc

viva obama

More at Daily Kos.

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Late Night Political Humor

“But I want to tell you, it’s so cold. It’s so cold that Sarah Palin shot herself a brand-new coat.” -David Letterman

“I tell you, it’s cold all over the East Coast. And did you see those blizzards all over the place? The whole country was so white the Republicans thought they were back in charge again.” -Jay Leno

“Here’s how cold it is outside. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was selling seats in his hair.” -David Letterman

“I think I have the perfect solution to this cold. I was thinking about it today. Let’s swap countries with Mexico. Everyone who lives there moves here and vice versa. You want it so bad, you can have it. -Jimmy Kimmel

“Incoming press secretary Robert Gibbs said President-elect Barack Obama will allow gays to serve openly in the military. So the days of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ are over. Actually, that’s not quite true. Congress will continue to use the phrase when referring to the bailout money. ‘Don’t Ask Us What We Did With It, We’re Not Going To Tell You Where It Went.'” -Jay Leno

“President-elect Barack Obama plans to close Guantanamo, you know, the big holding center, the big prison, the interrogation center in Cuba. He is going to close that down. And Dick Cheney – I thought this was interesting – Dick Cheney said, ‘Oh, fine, sure, I’m going to buy it and turn it into a vacation home.'” -David Letterman

“And at his confirmation hearing, Attorney General Nominee Eric Holder said as far as he is concerned, waterboarding is torture. And Treasury secretary nominee Tim Geithner said, ‘So is paying taxes.'” -Jay Leno

“As you may have heard, Tim Geithner, who’s been chosen to be our next secretary of the Treasury didn’t pay $34,000 in federal taxes from 2001 to 2004. But to keep the nomination afloat, he paid it this week, plus another $8,000 in interest. So that’s $42,000 the US Treasury made just like that. You know what Barack Obama should do now? He should appoint Willie Nelson to the position of Commerce secretary. What does he owe, $28 million?” -Jay Leno

“President Bush has four days left in office, and he made his farewell address to the nation this evening. He was very gracious regarding Barack Obama. He said Obama offers hope to the nation. And I thought this was nice. He actually went shopping with Laura and personally picked out the bag he’s going to leave Obama holding.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Bush will leave January 20th. Yes. Will it never get here? Cheney, meanwhile, said, “I’ll leave when I damn well feel like it.” But that’s another story.” -David Letterman

“President Bush will soon be gone from the White House, but he’s not going to fade away. He’s only 62 years old and he says there are still plenty of challenges to fail to meet, there are still goals to fall short of, and people to disappoint.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“And the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, gave his annual State of the State address this morning. And while you might think that after five years in office, he has run out of cute references to his own movies. But he most certainly has not, because he made reference to Conan’s sword in today’s speech. All that’s left is for him to tell the Board of Education about ‘Kindergarten Cop,’ right?” -Jimmy Kimmel

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Legacy Correction

Cam Cardow
© Cam Cardow

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Great Moments in Presidential Speeches

From David Letterman. I couldn’t stop laughing.

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When Satire becomes Ironic

In January 2001, mere days before Dubya took office for the first time, satire magazine The Onion published a then-funny piece about president-elect Bush giving a speech assuring the country that ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’. Bush pledged to end the Clinton era — “eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us.”

According to The Onion, Bush promised to attack the environment, send the nation into massive debt, deregulate dangerous, greedy industries, start “at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict”, bring back economic stagnation, and heal the “terrible wedge President Clinton drove between church and state”. They satirically had Bush concluding:

We as a people must stand united, banding together to tear this nation in two. Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there’s much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation’s hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it.

The ironic thing is, their over-the-top predictions came true. Pity that.

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Post Partisan Politics

Tom Tomorrow
© Tom Tomorrow

And speaking of post-partisan politics, in a surprise reversal House Speaker Nancy Pelosi today announced that she would support an investigation into controversial practices by the Bush Administration.

And on the other side of the post-partisan coin, Rush Limbaugh announced that he hopes Obama fails. My only question is, why does he hate America so much?

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Late Night Political Humor

“Well, folks, tomorrow night, President Bush will give his farewell address to the nation. Or, as the White House is calling it, a very special episode of ‘Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?'” -Jay Leno

“President Bush is busy saying good-bye to everybody. Last night he was on Larry King, and I think tomorrow he’s making a farewell lasagna with Rachel Ray. Bush is getting nostalgic. He says he’s not sure how he will feel on January 21st, but I think I kind of know how the rest of us will feel.” -David Letterman

“Last night, Larry King interviewed President Bush, and Bush told him, ‘My favorite color is blue and I love enchiladas.’ Unfortunately, Bush was answering the question, ‘What was your greatest achievement as President?'” -Conan O’Brien

“The President was on ‘Larry King’ last night for one last hard-hitting interview before he packs up and tries to find his way back home to Texas. King asked the President if he personally lost money in the stock market. Bush said he has no idea because all his money is in a blind trust managed by a Nigerian prince who’s about to collect a huge inheritance.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“I like that the President doesn’t know where his money is. If he doesn’t know where ours is, he shouldn’t know where his is either, right?” -Jimmy Kimmel

“President Bush has declared an advanced state of emergency in DC from Saturday until Wednesday to allow for extra security for the inauguration. Apparently, the President obtained information from a very reliable source that on Tuesday an unidentified black man is plotting to break into and actually live in the White House for at least four years.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“By the way, it seems fitting to me that President Bush would leave Washington, DC, in a state of emergency on the day he leaves office.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“One week, and Barack Obama will be the new President of the United States. I’m telling you, things are really starting to look bad for Hillary.” -David Letterman

“Barack Obama says one of the first things he’ll do as president is sign an executive order closing down Guantanamo Bay, to which President Bush said, ‘Hey, well that’s nothing. I’ve closed down factories, car dealerships.” -Jay Leno

“Anyway, a spokesman for Barack Obama says the prisoners that are released from Guantanamo will either be sent back to their home countries or enter the New York City cab driver training program.” -Jay Leno

“President Bush has been giving Barack Obama a lot of advice. They’ve had a few meetings and he’s giving Obama advice. Yeah. President Bush has told Barack Obama that his biggest challenge will be an enemy attack. Specifically, Bush told Obama to keep your eye on Hillary.” -Conan O’Brien

“Barack Obama also says he wants to bring a sense of accountability to Washington. I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you bring some accountants to Washington, okay? Tell us where the hell our $750 billion went!” -Jay Leno

“Speaking of that, the new Treasury secretary nominee, Timothy Geithner, has come up with a plan to lower taxes. Don’t pay them!” -Jay Leno

“In a last-minute complication to what looked like an otherwise smooth path to confirmation, Timothy Geithner, President-elect Obama’s nominee for the secretary of Treasury admitted that from 2001 to 2004 he failed to pay $34,000 in Federal tax. Fortunately for him, this is not his field of expertise. You know, he’s just nominee for Secretary of the Treasury!” -Jay Leno

“A Democratic spokesman called the issue today ‘an honest mistake.’ How come, in Washington, the only time anyone is honest is when they make a mistake?
Well, you ever notice this? Whenever politicians don’t pay their taxes, ‘Oh, it’s an honest mistake.’ Huh? You know what they call it when you and I don’t pay our taxes? ‘Exhibit A for the prosecution.'” -Jay Leno

“President Bush, appearing on Fox News Sunday morning, confirmed that he is planning on writing a book. Bush admitted he’ll use a ghost writer. Well, sure, if it’s about his Presidency, it’s going to be a horror story. He’ll need a ghost writer.” -Jay Leno

“And yesterday morning, on the ‘Today Show,’ they did a big story about Barack Obama’s mother-in-law moving into the White House. Basically, they believe she’ll be a big help to the family. Not as big a help as it would have been to have Bill Clinton’s mother-in-law living in the White House.” -Jay Leno

“And health experts are now concerned that the bad economy may be causing Americans to gain weight. They call it ‘recession pounds.’ Really? Recession pounds? Have these people been to a shopping mall in the last ten years? Either that theory is dead wrong or we’ve been in a recession since 1985, okay?” -Jay Leno

“And the adult film industry, better known as the porn industry, has asked Congress for a $5 billion bailout. They say they’re going to use the money to make more fuel efficient porn.” -Jay Leno

“Five billion. You know, between the porn industry and Congress, I don’t know who’s screwed more people.” -Jay Leno

“Neiman Marcus announced they are cutting 400 jobs. See, I knew this would happen when the Republicans took away Sarah Palin’s campaign credit card.” -Jay Leno

“Yesterday, Tony Blair was given the Medal of Freedom by President Bush, but there was an awkward moment. When President Bush found out that Cherie Blair was a barrister, he said, ‘Oh, you make coffee at Starbucks.'” -Jay Leno

“Osama bin Laden will not go away. There is a brand new bin Laden tape, and they’ve authenticated it. They know it’s a recent tape because bin Laden describes Salma Hayak as ‘smokin’ hot’ on the Golden Globes.” -David Letterman

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The Dubya Presidential Theme Park

Why have an old and busted presidential library, especially when you’re a president who can’t read? Instead, those wacky people who created the bestselling bedtime book “Goodnight Bush” have created a plan for an amusement park to honor our funnest president. Now that’s an irony that this blog can get squarely behind! Click on the image to see the fully interactive version that describes all of the rides!

librarium
Visit the interactive version
.

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Unfortunate Political One-Liners

A reader has assembled a list of videos containing some of our politicians greatest hits. These are the actual videos of politicians saying things they probably wish we didn’t have recorded.

Included are:

“I’m Not a Crook” -Richard Nixon

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman” -Bill Clinton

“Read my lips: no new taxes.” -Geroge H. W. Bush

“The fundamentals of the economy are strong.” – John McCain

“I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times.” -Jimmy Carter

“That depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.” -Bill Clinton

If you can find other examples to add to this fine collection, and I’m sure you can, please post them to the comments.

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Bush’s 8 Years in 8 Minutes

Harsh.

If you are tempted to write this off just because Olbermann is a “liberal”, give a read to the conservative magazine The Economist and what they think about Bush’s legacy.

According to CBS, “Bush’s final approval rating is the lowest final rating for an outgoing president since Gallup began asking about presidential approval more than 70 years ago.”

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Red Ryder, Red Ryder

Last week White House Press Secretary Dana Perino was asked how Bush would move out of the White House:

So is there a point where moving vans pull in?

Perino laughed, saying:

I don’t anticipate that you’ll see a big Ryder truck coming up to the White House — probably the wrong brand to use.

You might recall that Ryder was the truck brand that was used in the first World Trade Center bombing.

So you might expect that the administration that has gotten almost everything wrong would do this:

White House Ryder
Via Think Progress
.

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