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Unfair and Unbalanced

Back in 2008 when gas prices spiked, Fox News said “no President has the power to increase or to lower gas prices.” And that the best way to reduce gas prices is to reduce consumption, so Americans should “get rid of those gas guzzlers, buy decent insulation for your house.”

But now, Fox News is blaming high gas prices on Obama:

I guess their idea of “balance” is that they talk out of both sides of their mouth, depending on who is president. And above all else, if anything bad happens, it is Obama’s fault.


© Lee Judge

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The Real Apology


© August J. Pollak

No matter what you think about what Rush Limbaugh said recently, what really surprises me is that anyone actually listens to anything he says. Or that there are any companies willing to sponsor him. What does the fact that so many Americans listen to him (and even believe him) say about us? Are we really that morally bankrupt?

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Endangered Species


© Brian McFadden

My only argument with this comic is the panel where he says “They’re centrists. Doing nothing is what comes naturally to them.” Our current hyper-partisan government makes a lot of noise, but I think we got a whole hell of a lot more done back when there were more moderates and centrists in both parties.

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Late Night Political Humor

“I thought the election was gonna be all about the economy. But the economy started doing better. So Republicans went to Plan B: calling women whores.” – Bill Maher

“Japanese researchers have invented a speech-jamming gun that can silence people from 30 meters away. You fire this at them, and they can stop talking. It makes people speechless. We should try this on Rush Limbaugh.” – Jay Leno

“Rush Limbaugh: four wives he’s had – no children. Dude, you are birth control.” – Bill Maher

“This woman [Sandra Fluke] got a call today from then President. President Obama called her to thank her for her testimony. And then President Clinton called Obama to get her number.” – Bill Maher

“In a recent interview, President Obama said when he plays golf, he doesn’t want or expect people to give him a pass on any shots. He just hopes people will give him a mulligan in November.” – Jay Leno

“In a speech on Wall Street the other day, President Obama compared himself to Gandhi. Well, that makes sense. He’s created a lot of jobs in India.” – Jay Leno

“New Rule: Sheriff Joe Arpaio can’t expect to get any credibility investigating the President’s birth certificate if he insists on calling the investigators his “posse.” Arpaio’s self-appointed “Cold Case Posse” reported yesterday that Obama’s birth certificate MIGHT be a forgery. Well, good thing they cleared that up. Who ever heard of a posse being unfair to a black man?” – Bill Maher

“Republican Senator Orrin Hatch accused President Obama of pandering to the hipster wing of the Democratic Party. It’s pretty shocking — not that he said that, just that Orrin Hatch knows what a hipster is.” –Jimmy Fallon

“There is an HBO movie coming out about the 2008 presidential election. Apparently John McCain is very unhappy with the way he was portrayed. He said he came across as a clueless and angry man. No one had the heart to tell him he was watching the toaster.” – Craig Ferguson

“This gas thing is not funny. We are looking at five dollar a gallon gasoline. Mitt Romney’s wife filled up both her Cadillacs today and now she’s one of the poor people he doesn’t give a sh*t about.” – Bill Maher

“Now that Snooki is pregnant, somebody has to ask Rick Santorum, ‘Are you still against contraception?’” – Bill Maher

“It seems a cat named Hank is running for the Senate in Virginia. You know the difference between a cat and politician? A cat doesn’t pretend to care about you.” – Jay Leno

“Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver were seen shopping together. Apparently she said she wanted something Swedish made and Arnold was like, ‘Swedish maid?’” – Craig Ferguson

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The Bad Ends Meet

Someone once said that if you go far enough on the political spectrum to either the right or the left, you’ll get to the same place.

That may explain why Bill Maher tweeted today that liberals should accept Rush Limbaugh’s apology for his “insulting choice of words” when he called Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute”.

Another interpretation is that Maher got burned late last year when he tweeted something insulting about Tim Tebow, and conservatives called for a boycott. Maher just wants to make sure he can make insulting remarks in the future without sponsor reprisals.

I disagree.

Personally, I’m against false personal attacks on private citizens, because it stifles free speech. Would Fluke ever have testified if she had known in advance that she would face a demeaning and slanderous personal attack? I’m a little less upset about attacks on politicians and celebrities (including football stars), since they are public figures who benefit from publicity (and even bad publicity is good).

People like Maher and Limbaugh get attention and publicity for making rude remarks about people. But there has to be a limit.

UPDATE: Now this is an apology!

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Natural Contraception


© Jen Sorensen

I’m not sure I get the reference to Henry Kissinger. My understanding is that Kissinger was quite popular with women.

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Late Night Political Humor

“A man in Albuquerque has registered his dog to vote. Apparently the dog likes the current administration but he’s not sure he wants another 28 years of Obama.” – Conan O’Brien

“While visiting a GM plant President Obama pledged to buy a Chevy Volt after his presidency ends in five years. Today Mitt Romney said, ‘Make it one year and I’ll buy it for you.’” – Jay Leno

“It’s been a good week for Romney. He won Arizona, Michigan, and Wyoming. He said this is the best week of his life since they lowered the capital gains tax.” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney is having a lot of trouble connecting to the common person. So he’s trying a little too hard. In an interview yesterday, Romney said that he has worn a garbage bag as rain gear. He said it’s easy. All he had to do is dump out the hundred-dollar bills and throw the bag over his head.” – Conan O’Brien

“I think Romney’s a good man but he just doesn’t inspire people. Even his new campaign slogan: ‘I guess you’re stuck with me.’” – Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is so conservative, he won’t even shop at Dick’s Sporting Goods. He wants mailmen to stop wearing those shorts. He thinks a threesome is playing golf with two other guys. He’s so conservative, he won’t even shop at a store that has parking in the rear.” – Jay Leno

“Newt Gingrich has promised to bring gas down to $2.50 a gallon. That’s what Newt should be doing, running a gas station!” – Jay Leno

“We have the lovely actress Julianne Moore on the show tonight. She’s playing Sarah Palin in the new HBO movie “Game Change.” It’s about the 2008 election. Believe me, that was a tough role to prepare for, playing Sarah Palin. She had to spend over six months not studying anything.” – Jay Leno

“Opening in New Jersey tomorrow is the circus. They put up the big tent, although this year it’s Governor Christie’s pants.” – David Letterman

“A new study found that government employees are the happiest workers. The study was not conducted at the DMV.” – Conan O’Brien

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Jon Stewart v. Rush Limbaugh

Politicians may be afraid to take on Rush Limbaugh, but a few people aren’t:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Jon Stewart is brilliant. As an added bonus, Stephen Colbert “rushes” to make sure that Stewart doesn’t have all the fun:

Twenty six companies have pulled their advertising from Limbaugh’s show. If you want to help, here’s a list of companies that advertised on Rush’s show yesterday (read to the end, some of them have already said they will pull their advertising). Here’s another list, but note that some ads on the show are run by local stations.

By the way, you might have noticed the playing of Peter Gabriel’s song “Sledgehammer” on Limbaugh’s show. Gabriel has demanded that stop.

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Corporate Sponsorship


© Ruben Bolling

If you don’t believe this actually happens, read the sad story of Scotts Miracle-Gro and and the National Wildlife Federation. Luckily, after Scotts was found guilty in two separate incidents of being environmentally evil and the resulting public outcry, NWF changed their minds.

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Chasing the News


© Schot

Increasingly, the main subjects of the media is the media itself, or stuff they just make up. Look at the coverage of the Republican primaries, or about Rush Limbaugh, or celebrities, etc.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Mitt Romney won in Michigan last night. It was certainly a close race — a real nail-biter or, in Romney’s case, a real manicure.” – David Letterman

“Last night Mitt Romney came in first place in the Michigan primary, although he barely won. Incidentally, ‘barely one’ is also the total number of votes Ron Paul received.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Congratulations to Mitt Romney. He won in Arizona and Michigan. Romney is so excited, he almost loosened his tie.” – Jay Leno

“They went crazy celebrating. A friend of mine who was in campaign headquarters said that after he won and the lights were turned off and people were going home, Romney took off his jacket and chugged a glass of tap water.” – David Letterman

“Today, in a suburb of Detroit, Mitt Romney asked supporters to donate money to his campaign. Of course, the people then pointed out that they live in Detroit. And he’s Mitt Romney.” – Conan O’Brien

“Gas prices are so high that Mitt Romney’s wife can only afford to drive one Cadillac.” – Jay Leno

“Newt Gingrich said that Mitt Romney is so closed-minded that he would have fired Christopher Columbus. Romney denied it, saying, ‘Are you kidding me? A man with three boats, that’s my kind of guy.’” – Jimmy Fallon

“In yesterday’s Michigan primary, Newt Gingrich actually came in fourth place. Or as the ice cream in his freezer put it, it’s gonna be a long night.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Rick Santorum thinks that global warming, climate change, is a hoax. Let me ask you something, Rick. If you think global warming and climate change is a hoax, how do you explain those sleeveless sweaters?” – David Letterman

“Not a good day for Rick Santorum. I haven’t seen him this depressed since they invented the birth control pill.” – Jay Leno

“It’s being reported that Snooki is pregnant. When Rick Santorum heard the news, he immediately came out in favor of birth control.” – Conan O’Brien

“I think Rick Santorum learned something yesterday. He learned that electoral college is not for everyone. Not everyone needs to go the electoral college.” – Jay Leno

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Unsupportable


© Dan Wasserman

Everyone wants to cut government spending, except for any programs that benefit themselves.

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Pots and Kettles


© Lalo Alcaraz

And a drug whore at that.

Limbaugh issued a rather lame apology on his website for calling a woman a “slut” and a “prostitute”, but it doesn’t seem like that is going to be enough. Despite the apology, two more sponsors have pulled the plug on Limbaugh, bringing the total number of advertisers who have jumped ship to eight.

UPDATE: Conservative George Will says that GOP leaders have avoided criticizing Limbaugh’s comments because they fear Rush Limbaugh:

Boehner comes out and says Rush’s language was inappropriate. Using the salad fork for your entrée, that’s inappropriate. Not this stuff. And it was depressing because what it indicates is that the Republican leaders are afraid of Rush Limbaugh. They want to bomb Iran, but they’re afraid of Rush Limbaugh.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Rick Santorum is saying the kids that go to college are snobs. Rick Santorum has a new program for children. It’s called Every Child Left Behind.” – David Letterman

“Rick Santorum has been surging in the polls lately. Apparently voters are responding to his message of no birth control and public schools.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Mitt Romney has accused Rick Santorum of saying outrageous things just so Santorum can appeal to the most extreme voters. Santorum denied this and said, ‘That’s exactly the kind of misrepresentation I’d expect from gay abortion doctor Mitt Romney.’” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney accused the other GOP candidates of pandering to voters to get support. Romney was like, ‘I would never pander to voters. I mean, unless you guys want me to.’” – Jimmy Fallon

“The Romney campaign says they can’t figure out why the people of Michigan aren’t embracing their native son. Hmmm, let’s see. Could it be this editorial he wrote four years ago: ‘Let Detroit go bankrupt’?” – Craig Ferguson

“That shows Romney had the vision to put his foot in his mouth years before his competitors.” – Craig Ferguson

“It’s nothing compared to the piece Romney wrote last week for The Arizona Republic: ‘Accept your new Mexican overlords.’” – Craig Ferguson

“Kid Rock gave Mitt Romney an endorsement. He also endorsed porn, Jack Daniels, and Hepatitis C.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Kid Rock has formally endorsed Mitt Romney. Doesn’t Kid Rock look like the guy that Mitt Romney’s neighborhood watch group would call the cops on?” – Jay Leno

“Ron Paul looks like the guy you see in the horse-racing movies on the back stretch with a stopwatch.” – David Letterman

“Ron Paul announced earlier today his campaign is the only one that’s entirely financed by moonshine.” – David Letterman

“Today is the 100th anniversary of the Oreo cookie. For New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, it’s a holy day.” – David Letterman

“Tomorrow is leap day. This is something that only happens once every four years. Or as Newt Gingrich calls that, a sit-up.” – Jimmy Fallon

“It’s leap day tomorrow. This is God’s way of punishing us by making the election year even longer.” – Jay Leno

“Today marks the 158th anniversary of the Republican Party — while tomorrow marks the 158th Republican debate.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Axis of Insanity


© Lee Judge

The North Koreans have decided they would rather have food than nuclear weapons. However, the voice of the Republican party Rush Limbaugh seems to be going nuclear all on his own.

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