Or as Palin puts it, she is “weighing a run” — anchors a-weigh!
A former Palin insider explains why she runs.
UPDATE: Sarah Palin gets basic civics information terribly wrong. One gets the feeling that she and reality are not good friends. Did she quit social studies class in school half way through?
Has anyone else noticed that when there was lots of snow last winter, there were lots of grumblings about global warming being a myth, but now with all the crazy weather-related disasters, there is eerie silence? The silence doesn’t bother me — weather is not the same thing as climate, after all — but every time it snows and some dumb pundit makes a crack about global warming, their viewers should get steamed and have their own personal global warming under the collar.
According to Paul Krugman, not only is Paul Ryan lying, he is a sore loser.
Republicans responded to modest and realistic cost control efforts in Obama’s health care reform bill with screams of “death panels”, but it seems that they don’t actually care about seniors dying. Not only would the Ryan budget plan destroy Medicare as we know it and cut Medicaid by 44%, but it is so full of what Bush I called “voodoo economics” that it is unlikely to reduce the deficit at all.
“One of Sarah Palin’s supporters is about to release a documentary about her called ‘The Undefeated.’ That’s like a documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger called ‘The Faithful.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Someone made a two-hour documentary about Sarah Palin’s political life. In case you’re interested in watching a movie that’s longer than Palin’s actual political life.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump now says he may run for president as an independent. And when Donald Trump says he’s going do something, Donald Trump . . . says he’s going to do something.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Rudy Giuliani says he may run for President. So now we’re up to 7 candidates and 35 ex-wives.” – Jimmy Fallon
“I don’t want to say Tim Pawlenty is boring, but Joe Biden is accusing him of identity theft.” – Jay Leno
“President Obama is on a visit to England. He told the Queen yesterday, ‘I like your tea parties much better than the ones we have in America.'” – Jay Leno
“They drive on other side of the road there, so Obama had to switch sides — kind of like Mitt Romney is doing over here.” – Jay Leno
“Now the pastor guy says the Apocalypse will be October 21. I know some people are saying, ‘What if I had tickets for Saturday’s Apocalypse?’ Those tickets will still be good for October.'” – David Letterman
“Be honest. How many of you were hoping this was going to be my final show? Oprah’s last show was today. I had a good cry with the girls from our book club. On her last show Oprah explained why she canceled the Apocalypse.” – David Letterman
“Oprah said, ‘Nobody but Jesus could have made this happen for me.’ That’s nice; she thanked her Son.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“It’s not an exaggeration to say that Oprah has touched millions of women around the world, but unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger, she didn’t leave them pregnant.” – Craig Ferguson
“The average couple fights about sex 87 times a year. And even more if the maid is pregnant. Arnold’s maid has hired a lawyer, so I guess it’s her turn to screw him.” – Jay Leno
“New video has surfaced of Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1991 saying the housekeeper does a ‘great job.’ One clue might have been that he then added, ‘And she’s also a great housekeeper.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Kirstie Alley did a cartwheel on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ But President Obama is refusing to release the pictures.” – David Letterman
“A new Facebook app is coming out that will remind users exactly what they were doing a year ago from that day. Nine times out of 10, the answer will be ‘wasting your time on Facebook.'” – Conan O’Brien
“On this date 19 years ago, Jay Leno took over ‘The Tonight Show.’ And it wouldn’t be the last time.” – David Letterman
An article in the Christian Science Monitor draws an interesting comparison between the swaggering bravado of George W. Bush and his dressing up in a flight suit and declaring “Mission Accomplished” and Barack Obama, who actually accomplished the mission of bringing the perpetrator of 9/11 to (some kind of) justice.
According to the former Afghan Foreign Minister, Pakistan president “Musharraf skillfully played the American administration, throwing ‘dust in Bush’s eyes.’” Indeed, it was Pakistan who said in 2002 that bin Laden was almost certainly dead, and then later told us that bin Laden was on a kidney dialysis machine, living (barely) in a cave in Afghanistan. Bush not only fell for those lies, he repeated them publicly. Obama was able to track down and kill bin Laden because he wasn’t buffaloed by the Pakistani government.
And yet, those people who confuse bravado and arrogance with true leadership criticize Obama because he “didn’t have the guts to release photos of bin Laden’s corpse”. They continue to attack Obama no matter what he does or says, even though he has accomplished an amazing number of things in the last 2 1/2 years:
And did all this while facing ferocious opposition from conservatives, Republicans, and corporately-sponsored Tea Party fanatics, not to mention from the most popular “news” channel.
So, can you name any accomplishments of George W. Bush?
“The world was supposed to end last Saturday but at the last minute, it was picked up for another season.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Harold Camping, who predicted the end of the world, says the new date for the apocalypse is October 21. If it rains, it will be October 22.” – David Letterman
“The preacher who predicted the apocalypse last weekend now predicts that the world will end in October. It’s the first time that someone’s end-of-the-world prediction was followed by ‘Have a great summer.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Harold Camping has shifted his prediction of the apocalypse from May 21 to October 21, which is great because now I don’t have to buy a Halloween costume.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Harold Camping has now changed his prediction of the Rapture to October 21. Does Jesus work for the cable company now? “I’ll be there sometime between May and October, between 9 and 5.” – Jay Leno
“The Rapture-predicting preacher, Harold Camping, is really scaling back his predictions. He now predicts the end of the month will be May 31.” – Jay Leno
“Some people sold all they’re possessions to prepare for Judgment Day. They’re idiots. If the world does end, what are you going to do with your money? Walmart is closed.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Apparently the Rapture is being produced by the same people that produced ‘Spider-Man the Musical.'” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Oprah’s show is ending. I tried to get my doctor to euthanize me, but the co-pay was ridiculous.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“A new study found that cleaning your house can increase stress. Yeah, but so can hiring someone else to do it for you — just ask Maria Shriver.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The rumor is that Maria Shriver is the one who leaked the story of Arnold’s love child to the press. Evidently she got the idea of leaking things secretly from Arnold.” – Conan O’Brien
“Turns out that Maria Shriver could end up with 100,000,000 dollars from her divorce from Arnold. She deserves it. She was a devoted wife and mother to at least 40 percent of his children.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Dick Cheney is publishing a memoir. He’s very thorough, and to get all of the facts for his book, he actually had to waterboard himself.” – David Letterman
“In college, Cheney went through a rebellious phase where he experimented with smiling.” – David Letterman
“Last night at a Texas Ranger game ex-President Bush almost got hit with a foul ball. He vowed revenge on the player, but we all know Obama will be the one to actually get him.” – Conan O’Brien
“President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed.” – Jay Leno
“Obama was also in England, where the queen suggested that we go back to the pre-1776 borders.” – Jay Leno
“Herman Cain, the former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, announced that he’s running for president. And this is cool — if his campaign isn’t over in 30 minutes or less, you get your pizza for free.” – Jimmy Fallon
“According to Osama bin Laden’s journals that were taken during the raid, he wanted to attack L.A. He changed his mind when he realized that he had nothing against the Mexican people.” – Jay Leno
AmeriPAC, a conservative Republican political action committee, sent out a fundraising letter recently that accused Democrats of banning incandescent light bulbs:
The Democrats have already voted to BAN our conventional lights bulbs (that you and I use even today!) in favor of DANGEROUS fluorescent light bulbs. … Help put an end to governmental interference in our lives! Help put an end to Mr. Obama interfering with free enterprise!
PolitiFact reviewed this claim and rated it a “Pants on Fire” lie. In the first place, Republicans voted for this bill too. In fact, it was signed into law by George W. Bush.
Secondly, the bill does not ban incandescent light bulbs at all. It only requires that light bulbs be 25% more efficient, while producing equivalent amounts of light. This is a good thing, since it will save consumers money on their energy bills, reduce energy consumption by $18 billion a year, and reduce global warming.
But here’s the good part. PolitiFact questioned them about their claim that the bill bans incandescent light bulbs and they replied that it was a de facto ban because it is not possible to make incandescent bulbs that meet the new efficiency requirements:
We believe ‘ban’ is an accurate term because there is no such thing as what they require. If it’s available, where can I buy it? Why doesn’t Home Depot carry them?
Well, the truth is that Home Depot already does carry them. The Philips EcoVantage bulb is an incandescent (halogen) bulb that is for sale in Home Depot and meets the proposed efficiency requirements. Osram Sylvania and GE also make incandescent bulbs that meet the new energy requirements, but they are sold at Lowe’s.
And finally, even if the bill did ban incandescent bulbs, you still wouldn’t be forced to buy florescent bulbs, since manufacturers are now making LED bulbs that meet the new energy requirements. As as for claims that florescent bulbs are dangerous because they contain small amounts of mercury? PolitiFact found those claims to be wildly exaggerated. In fact, the use of florescent bulbs actually reduces the amount of mercury that is released.
I’ve been trying to figure out how we can deal with outright intentional lying without infringing on free speech. We already have laws against libel and slander, but they don’t work during political campaigns since by the time you could win a lawsuit against someone who lies about you, the damage would be done (in many cases, the election itself would be long over).
Maybe we need something like a political lie court, where a panel of judges (picked to be non-partisan or at least balanced) rules on political lies in a timely manner. If a politician is found guilty of a blatant lie, they should be required to correct the lie in public and apologize.
For example, AmeriPAC would be required to send out a letter correcting their false claim. Or anyone who claimed that the new health care law creates “death panels” (PolitiFact’s lie of the year) would be required to apologize on TV.
“The pastor who incorrectly predicted the Rapture said it was a very tough weekend. To make it worse, his friends keep calling him saying, “Hey, it’s not the end of the world!” – Conan O’Brien
“The good news is, the apocalypse did not happen. The bad news is, we thought it would so we don’t have much of a plan for the show.” – Conan O’Brien
“At first I felt bad for the people that sold everything they owned ahead of the apocalypse. But then I realized they’re idiots. If the world did end, what would you do with the money you got?” – Jimmy Kimmel
“I gave my Beanie Baby collection up for no reason at all.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“A lot of people are very nervous about this whole Rapture thing, though a lot of people didn’t understand it. For instance, Sarah Palin said, ‘The raptures were the scariest part of ‘Jurassic Park.'” – Jay Leno
“Arnold Schwarzenegger might have to give Maria Shriver 100,000,000 dollars in a divorce settlement. When asked for a comment Arnold said, “But I have families to support.” – Conan O’Brien
“It’s a great honor to be selected as the ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ It’s like being chosen as a Schwarzenegger maid.” – David Letterman
“There are rumors Arnold Schwarzenegger may have had a second child with another woman. I can’t believe Arnold would cheat on his mistress like that.” – Jimmy Fallon
“You can use genealogy to trace your ancestors now. In 100 years, scientists will be able to tell that three quarters of all Americans are descended directly from Arnold Schwarzenegger.” – Craig Ferguson
“President Obama just kicked off a 6-day European tour. It’s terrifying because this means Joe Biden is in charge.” – Craig Ferguson
“President Obama is on a big European trip this week, and I heard that he’s sleeping at Buckingham Palace when he visits England. That’s when you know the U.S. is short on cash — when even Obama’s like, ‘Hey, is it cool if I crash at your place?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“I’m glad President Obama is reconnecting with his roots in Ireland. When people here in L.A. do that, it means they go a month without getting their hair colored.” – Craig Ferguson
“President Obama visited a bar in Ireland and drank Guinness. I know it’s not great for kids to see the president drinking alcohol, but in his defense, beer goes great with cigarettes.” – Craig Ferguson
“I tell you what; Hawaiian, Kenya, Irish – this guy truly is the Epcot Center of presidents.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“That’s right, Obama was in Ireland. He thought about buying a four-leaf clover for good luck, and then he looked at the field of Republican candidates and decided it wasn’t necessary.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama visited the Irish village where his great-great-great-grandfather was born. Of course, that was always disputed by his great-great-great-grandfather’s archrival, Donny McTrump.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump said he may reverse his position and decide to run for president. He said he wants to do it because President Obama is being so indecisive.” – Jay Leno
“Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels emailed his supporters over the weekend to tell them he’s not running for president. In response, his supporters were like, ‘Dad, we live in the same house. Couldn’t you just tell us in person?” – Jimmy Fallon
“Last year George W. Bush made $15 million from speaking engagements. He comes on stage and introduces the goddesses. Then he goes into a 90-minute rant about Chuck Lorre.” – David Letterman
“A new law in Utah makes it illegal for a person to publicly touch their own genitals. In other words, Utah is never getting a major league baseball team.” – Conan O’Brien
“The government has decided that no one is getting the $25 million award for capturing bin Laden. It’s because no one wants to break the news to SEAL Team 6.” – Conan O’Brien
“Al Qaeda has been plotting attacks against oil tankers and refineries for years. Thank goodness that never happened. The price of gas would have skyrocketed.” – Jay Leno
“A Christian minister has crunched the numbers, looked at the 8 Ball, and in two hours, the Rapture begins. That’s when the really devout, extra-sure-of-themselves fundamentalist Christians will just disappear — or as I call it, a win-win.” – Bill Maher
“Merry Apocalypse Eve. This minister says the world is going to end. I just checked the weather. We have maybe a 10% chance of Apocalypse.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“The man that is predicting judgment day predicted the end of the world in 1994. He also predicted that Ashton Kutcher would never return to television.” – Craig Ferguson
“How about this whole world-coming-to-an-end thing? Look, I love Oprah too, but it was just a TV show!” – Jay Leno
“May 21st is supposed to be Judgment Day. We should send a robot Arnold Schwarzenegger back in time to fix things. Though I suspect if he could go back in time he might fix some other things.” – Craig Ferguson
“It’s been reported that Arnold Schwarzenegger was paying the maid 1200 dollars a week. It gets uglier. He bought the woman a house in Bakersfield, and he was having sex with the lady who cleans that house too.” – Jay Leno
“Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he’s putting his career on hold to concentrate on personal matters. Either that or he’s putting Korea on hold. It’s hard to understand him. He told his talent agency to hold all his projects while he cleans up his personal mess. That’s what happens when you impregnate your maid. There’s no one to clean up messes for you.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“The Obama campaign is selling t-shirts with his long-form birth certificate and ‘Made in the U.S.A.’ Arnold Schwarzenegger is selling t-shirts that say ‘Maid in the bedroom, made in the kitchen …'” –Jay Leno
“President Obama offered $1 billion to Egypt to boost the creation of new jobs. And if that works, they’re going to try it here.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama said Hillary Clinton is approaching one million frequent flier miles in her job as Secretary of State. Though even that can’t get her upgraded to the seat she really wants.” – Jimmy Fallon
“If you don’t know much about Newt Gingrich, he’s like Donald Trump without the charisma.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Donald Trump is not running for president. It turns out he was born in Kenya.” – David Letterman
“Sarah Palin was asked if she has the fire in the belly to run for President, and she said yes. But it’s not the fire in the belly; it’s the air in the head.” – Jay Leno
“Tim Pawlenty’s friends call him T-Paw. As opposed to everyone else who calls him ‘T-Who?'” –Jay Leno
“Katie Couric’s final news broadcast was last night. Now she’s looking for another format she doesn’t quite fit.” – David Letterman
“Katie Couric had her last broadcast and we were very sad to see her go but now it’s official. I have the nicest legs at CBS.” – Craig Ferguson
“The head of the International Monetary Fund, arrested in New York for assaulting a hotel maid, has posted the one million dollars bail in cash. Well, there goes Nigeria’s mosquito net money.” – Jon Stewart
“Katie Couric was the first solo female anchor. You know who the last solo male anchor was? Osama bin Laden.” – Jay Leno
“Time is flying by. Pretty soon, I’ll be opening my summer place in Abbottabad.” – David Letterman
“Today is the 84th anniversary of Charles Lindbergh’s solo crossing of the Atlantic. It was the last time an American was warmly greeted in France. When he landed he told people he’d enjoyed the flight and had actually joined the Mile High Club.” – David Letterman
Vermont becomes the first state to take the first step toward single-payer health insurance for all. If all goes as planned, the state will adopt single-payer by 2017.
Not only will the plan save money, but it will eliminate the need for employers to provide health insurance to their workers, creating jobs. And even more savings are possible, as it allows the state to negotiate rates with health care providers and drug companies.
When I lived in New Zealand, I noticed another benefit — car insurance was a fraction of what it costs here, since it did not have to include coverage for injuries.
Republicans complain loudly about deficits, and yet they still find lots of money to fund their pet projects. Here are some examples:
Why is it that Republicans only talk about deficits when they want to cut something that helps the poor or the middle class?
“Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have put their former mansion on the market for $23.5 million. It’s not that clean though, because they had a maid but she was always busy doing other stuff.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a maid, and now the kid is mad at her for lying to him all these years. She’d told him his father was an actor.” – Jay Leno
“You know what’s going to happen. Arnold will check into a sex addiction clinic, and next season the maid will go on ‘Dancing with the Stars.'” – Jay Leno
“At a campaign stop, someone threw glitter on Newt Gingrich to protest his stance on gay marriage. I understand the whole episode is being nominated for a Tony.” – David Letterman
“A gay activist dumped glitter all over Newt Gingrich. He wants Newt to stop being against gay marriage. But Newt believes marriage is a sacred bond between a man and his wife and his mistress and the other woman he’s seeing on the side.” – Jay Leno
“Everyone in the blamestream media (copyright), is saying Newt Gingrich is on the ropes. Wrong, you parasites. This man will rise again, just like the sourdough he appears to be made of.” – Stephen Colbert
“There is a simple explanation for [running up $500 million in debt to Tiffany’s] because Newt Gingrich buys his engagement rings in bulk.” – Stephen Colbert
“Dick “Kaboom” Cheney is publishing his memoirs. Cheney is a wonderful fiction writer. Remember the stories he used to tell us about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?” – David Letterman
“Dick Cheney is releasing a memoir in August about his personal and political life. I’m not going to say reading it is torture. It’s more of an enhanced interrogation technique.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama suggested that Israel should go back to the pre-1967 borders. Native Americans said, “Why stop there? Let’s go back to the pre-1492 borders.”” – Jay Leno
“Officials at the Secret Service had to delete a tweet from their official Twitter account because they made fun of Fox News. Knock it off, Secret Service! That’s my job.” – Craig Ferguson
“What is the Secret Service doing with a Twitter account? Isn’t it their job to keep stuff secret?” – Craig Ferguson
“Katie Couric is leaving the evening news to have a morning talk show. Unless Jay wants it, of course. We’ll spin the wheel to see who she’ll be replaced by. Charlie Sheen!” – Jay Leno
“A TSA worker was arrested in L.A. for stealing from suitcases. Remember this was just one bad apple. Over 99% of TSA workers just want to cup your balls. And if that makes someone a criminal, put me in jail.” – Craig Ferguson
“The world is ending on Saturday. We will be judged by Randy and J-Lo, and then I guess we go to Hell. It would really, really suck if we only got to live 3 weeks longer than bin Laden. And speaking of the end of the world, there are only 4 Oprah shows left.” – Jimmy Kimmel
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