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John Hodgman – Revenge of the Nerds

Saturday, June 20, 2009

John Hodgman at the Radio and Television Correspondent’s Dinner, with Barack Obama.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Here’s Obama’s joke-filled speech.

UPDATE: The untravel blog has a good posting about Hodgman’s speech. Here’s some of it:

on one level, it’s just a bunch of silly, obscure jokes. On another level, the jokes mock their own obscurity. For example, there’s the moment where Hodgman refers to Obama as the “Kwisatz Haderach”. The joke gets two laughs: one from people who know what the hell a Kwisatz Haderach is, another when Hodgman mocks the people who were geeky enough to know what that is. (For the record, I laughed both times.) That sort of layered humor would be clever enough on its own.

But then there’s the third layer, where Hodgman’s ‘are you nerdy enough?’ questions are couched in the same language as the ‘are you liberal enough?’ questions about Obama (habeus corpus, transparency, torture, etc.). At that level, Hodgman seemed to be perfectly serious. He gets a ‘speaking truth to power’ moment, but frames it ironically. The irony isn’t directed at Obama but at liberal expectations about Obama. (Think of the contrast with Steven Colbert’s ‘truth to power’ approach when giving the same speech, where Bush himself was the target of the jokes.) It’s one of the most complicated political speeches (in terms of its layers of meaning) that I’m aware of.

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Death by Spreadsheet

Friday, June 19, 2009

Joel Pett
© Joel Pett

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Conservatives in Glass Houses Shouldn’t Throw Stones, part 2

Friday, June 19, 2009

Wing-nut lawmaker Michele Bachmann has come out against the census, saying that she “won’t be answering any information beyond” how many people live in her home.

She claims that ACORN will be part of the Census Bureau’s efforts “They will be in charge of going door to door and collecting data from the American public. This is very concerning.”

First of all, ACORN has merely applied to help recruit workers to conduct the census. It is ridiculous to claim that they would be “in charge” of anything the census does.

Why does the right love to attack ACORN? Because ACORN has been very successful in registering low-income and minority voters. Republicans have called ACORN a “quasi-criminal group”, compared them to the KKK, and even blamed ACORN for the mortgage crisis.

Their main attack against ACORN has been allegations of voter registration fraud. We have noted that one of the loudest voices accusing ACORN of fraud, Ann Coulter, was herself guilty of actual voter fraud (and actually voting illegally is much more serious than registration fraud).

And this week, the head of a voter registration firm that was hired by the California GOP to head up their voter registration efforts in the state has pled guilty to voter registration fraud and has been sentenced to three years probation. While Bachmann continues to publicly accuse ACORN of fraud, actual fraud by GOP aligned groups goes almost entirely unreported.

Incidentally, not answering census questions is a crime. According to the Census Bureau, any adult who refuses to answer census questions can be fined up to $5,000. Bachmann is not only planning on breaking the law, she is encouraging others to do so.

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Late Night Political Humor

Friday, June 19, 2009

“Television, tonight, has finally gone completely digital in the United States of America … Analog TV signals are no longer being beamed through the air, and yet monologue jokes will still be flying over Sarah Palin’s head.” – Bill Maher

“Tonight’s the night of the big television digital switchover. According to some estimates, when the analog signal is cut off and switched to digital tonight, nearly 1 million people could be left without TV service,’ which ‘means NBC could lose dozens of viewers.” – Conan O’Brien

“Today is the day, the big digital changeover. Are you ready for this? Do you know what it means? Nah, I don’t either. You gotta change over to a digital thing for your TV and everybody is getting ready down in Washington. Dick Cheney, as a matter of fact, hooked up a converter to his pacemaker.” – David Letterman

“Our friend David Letterman made a harmless joke about Bristol Palin and everyone went nuts. Please, she’s a grown girl. She can take care of herself. … Not that the Republicans don’t every week have a case of fake outrage, but this was especially ridiculous this week. Dave Letterman then invited Sarah Palin and her daughter onto the show, the young one, Willow. And Sarah Palin said, it would be wise to keep Willow away from him. That’s right … I’d worry a little more about the 18-year-old hockey players who knock up your daughters regularly.” – Bill Maher

“David Letterman is from Indiana. This is not in his DNA to make a joke like this. In fact, the only bright side to this is that finally, there’s a comedian under fire for inappropriate remarks and it’s not me.” – Bill Maher

“The country of Iran is holding its presidential election with four candidates running. Iranians will have to decide which candidate is best prepared to lead them into the 12th century.” – Conan O’Brien

“They had elections today in Iran. Apparently it’s still too close to call. They say if the vote is still close by tomorrow, there will be a runoff election next week, and then the usual series of lawsuits from Norm Coleman.” – Bill Maher

“It’s a little different over there when they have an election in Iran, because the women, they get to vote over there. Unlike our ally Saudi Arabia. But in Iran, the women get to vote and it’s great, because they’re already wearing the booth.” – Bill Maher

“They released this week four prisoners who were previously held in Guantanamo Bay, and they’ve been cleared of their charges. And listen to this: they’re resettling them in Bermuda and giving them each $100,000. In a related story, the entire population of Detroit said today they are part of al Qaeda.” – Bill Maher

“I guess there was some good news for Detroit. That’s a tough city going through tough times. But the deal between Chrysler and Fiat went through this week. There is now going to be a Chrysler-Fiat. All the reliability of a Fiat, combined with the youthful appeal of a Chrysler. Even Oprah couldn’t give this sh*t away” – Bill Maher

“Yesterday, President Obama wrote a note for a fourth grade girl who skipped school so she could attend his town hall meeting. I don’t see what the big deal is. Bush wrote notes to fourth graders, too. He just called them speeches.” – Jimmy Fallon

“This is crazy. You probably saw this. Former President George Bush Sr. celebrated his 85th birthday today by skydiving with CNN anchor Robin Meade. Fox News reported the story as, ‘Liberal media pushes old man out of airplane.'” – Conan O’Brien

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The Scope of the Problem

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Steve Sack
© Steve Sack

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Conservatives in Glass Houses Shouldn’t Throw Stones

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Conservative ire is still being thrown at David Letterman for an off-color joke he made earlier this month about Sarah Palin and her daughter. Watch the video here.

Without defending Letterman, who has apologized for the joke, Media Matters points out that protesting sexist jokes from a comedian is hypocritical when right-wing spokespeople and pundits make offensive statements all the time that are not challenged.

How can Palin insist that Letterman be forced off the air, when your friends and allies are saying things like this:

In addition, it seems to me that this latest dispute is more about Palin’s dislike of of Letterman than it is about that particular joke. Comedians have made far more offensive jokes about Sarah Palin’s family, which she just laughed off. During the campaign, Saturday Night Live did a skit where they joked about incest in the Palin family:

New York Times reporter: What about the husband? You know he’s doing those daughters. I mean, come on. It’s Alaska.

New York Times assignment editor: He very well could be. Admittedly, there is no evidence of that, but on the other hand, there is no convincing evidence to the contrary. And these are just some of the lingering questions about Governor Palin.

And yet Palin not only didn’t protest, she appeared on the show a few weeks later.

Ironically, the end result of all the conservative ire? Letterman’s ratings get a big boost. And a conservative protest outside Letterman’s studio in NYC calling for him to be fired manages to muster only three dozen protestors.

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Late Night Political Humor

Thursday, June 18, 2009

“A top Republican is angry that Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor belongs to an elite private group. The top Republican’s angry, and so is everyone at his country club.” – Conan O’Brien

“Karl Rove called Maureen Dowd of The New York Times a ‘bitter, twisted, deranged columnist’ and a ‘dour, downbeat liberal’ and – more – a ‘nasty, snarky person.’ Hey, get a room.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Well, it’s been a busy week here on the late show. Earlier in the week, I made some jokes that upset Sarah Palin. And I was telling jokes about her family and stuff. She got really upset. And I think everything’s fine now. I think everything’s going to be great because she called today and offered to take me hunting.” – David Letterman

“Boy, here’s a story that won’t go away. Miss California – remember Miss California? Got herself in a lot of trouble, shooting her mouth off. Gee, I wonder what that’s like.” – David Letterman

“Yesterday, the controversial Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who famously opposed gay marriage, was stripped of her title. Not only that, her chances of becoming Miss San Francisco are really looking slim.” – Conan O’Brien

“Well, now, Miss California’s been fired. Don’t worry. President Obama said he will announce a replacement within a week, so that will be good.” – David Letterman

“Some controversy today surrounding Miss California, Carrie Prejean. She’s the one who said she was against same-sex marriage. Some wanted her to be stripped of her title because of it, but Donald Trump, who owns the pageant, said no, she’s entitled to her opinion and she’ll remain Miss California. Well, today he fired her, which is what he does, I guess. My money says she’s a Fox News anchor by the … by now. By right now.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Fiat, which took over Chrysler this week, says it plans to build its cars with American, not Italian workers. Fiat says they got the idea from the Olive Garden.” – Conan O’Brien

“Here’s big news from the world of TV. And I don’t know if you guys are ready for this or not. If you have an old TV, tomorrow, it won’t work unless you digitalize it. You’ve got to get a converter thing and a lot of people are confused about this. For example, earlier today, John McCain wanted to know after the conversion, will his TV dinner still work.” – David Letterman

“Congress is considering a bill that would force advertisers to lower the volume of their TV commercials. OK, how did my mother get in Congress? When did that happen?” – Jimmy Fallon

“Iran is bracing itself for their upcoming presidential election. President Ahmadinejad is behind in the polls. I think it’s because of his campaign slogan, ‘Vote for me, and I won’t cut off your hand.'” – Craig Ferguson

“You folks been following the Iranian elections? Well this guy, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he’s running for re-election. Have you seen this guy? This guy looks like the kind of guy that tries to get to you buy a cell phone you don’t need. You know what I mean?” – David Letterman

“He looks like one of those guys that would be wearing a Members Only jacket.” – David Letterman

“He looks like one of those guys they drag away every week on ‘Dateline’, you know what I mean?” – David Letterman

“Politics is very similar over there as here. Ahmadinejad says if he’s elected, he’ll bail out the camel industry.” – Craig Ferguson

“Big science news. A new element will be added to the periodic table. It’s the heaviest element in the table. It’s called ununbium, which is Latin for ‘thigh of Rush Limbaugh.'” – Jimmy Fallon

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Is News Responsible?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The recent murder of a doctor who performed abortions, after right-wing pundits such as Bill O’Reilly called him a “baby killer” on the air, and said that people who didn’t do anything to stop him had “blood on their hands”, has started a conversation about the ethics of the news profession.

First, I have to say that there is a reason why freedom of speech and freedom of the press are in the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights. However, even though we want to allow as much freedom of speech as possible, it is still illegal to yell “Fire” in a crowded theater.

So are news pundits responsible when they instigate violence in others? Roger Ebert has an interesting column that compares O’Reilly to a school bully who incites others to violence while proclaiming his own innocence. Ebert cites the fact that two thirds of school shooters had been the victim of bullying and view themselves as persecuted.

Another article studies O’Reilly, showing how he uses all seven of the common propaganda techniques. But even if we believe that what O’Reilly does is wrong, should something be done about it? I don’t know.

Ed Stein
© Ed Stein

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The Revolution will NOT be Televised

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Keith Knight
© Keith Knight

This is the first revolution that has been catapulted onto a global stage and transformed by social media.

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Late Night Political Humor

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

“There was a big storm down in the Washington, D.C., area, and it toppled a tree. A giant, ancient tree toppled over. This is how crazy things are. When the tree toppled over, somebody contacted former Vice President Dick Cheney, and he said: ‘See, well, there it goes. It proves that President Obama is soft on weather.'” – David Letterman

“But here’s what happens. The grounds crew chop it up and then grind it up and use it for mulch. And I was thinking, you know, you can do the same thing with your General Motors stock.” – David Letterman

“Edward Whitaker, the former chairman of AT&T, was appointed the new chairman of General Motors. I’m not sure about his business plan. He’s giving away free cars on nights and weekends. I think that’s a bad idea.” – Jimmy Fallon

“In an interview, the new chairman actually said, ‘I don’t know anything about cars.’ I respect that. He’s keeping up the GM tradition.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Today, Chrysler was taken over by Fiat and the new CEO said, this is a quote, ‘Going forward we intend to build on Chrysler’s culture of innovation.’ Yeah. Yeah, then he laughed for three straight hours.” – Conan O’Brien

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to The Late Show, a division of Fiat.” – David Letterman

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am in so much trouble, because ? I’ll tell you why – the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, is angry with me. Fuming, angry, seeing red, and has called me ‘pathetic.’ Yup, that’s right. Honestly, I haven’t been called pathetic – well, since the honeymoon, actually.” – David Letterman

“I won’t kid you. I was feeling a little depressed when I heard that the Governor was mad at me and called me ‘pathetic.’ To cheer myself up, I went out and spent $150,000 on clothes, and I feel better now.” – David Letterman

“President Obama’s in the news, of course. He’s put health care back in the news. Yup. President Obama says he wants to create a national health care plan that’s both affordable and easy to use. Yup. Yeah, good. Yeah, and the insurance industry says they’ll fight the plan with congressmen who are both affordable and easy to use.” – Conan O’Brien

“Folks been following the elections in Iran? I know you have. Anyway, President Ahmadinejad is in a tight race, but today, he got great news for the campaign – he was endorsed by Mel Gibson.” – David Letterman

“Kim Jong-Il said that if provoked, North Korea would not hesitate to use its nuclear weapons in a ‘merciless offensive.’ Well, I just hope no one is stupid enough to provoke that fat little weirdo. Ooh, women’s glasses.” – Jimmy Fallon

“As you all know, two U.S. reporters have been imprisoned in North Korea, and now, President Obama is considering sending Al Gore to negotiate their release. Yeah. Yeah, and after hearing the Al Gore threat, North Korea gave up the reporters and their nuclear program.” – Conan O’Brien

“Listen to this – listen to how the power of the world is changing. Ahmadinejad may lose his job, and the Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il is stepping down, and before you know it, the only tiny — because these guys are all petite guys — the only small control freaks left in the world will be, like, well, Tom Cruise. Is that right?” – David Letterman

“There is an agency now that keeps track of this kind of stuff, and I think it’s fascinating. Do you like the presidential minutia? I love it. I can’t get enough of it. And according to this tracking agency, President Obama invokes the name Jesus Christ more frequently now than did George W. Bush for the same amount of time in his Presidency. I never really noticed it but I’ll bet it’s true, because if you think about it, Obama is always saying, Jesus! Why did I run for president?” – David Letterman

“This is weird. Former President George H.W. Bush is going to celebrate his 85th birthday by once again going skydiving. Yup. And his son, George W. Bush, is going to celebrate his father’s birthday the way he always does, giving him a World’s Greatest Dad mug and making him a macaroni necklace.” – Conan O’Brien

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Transparently Ridiculous

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Obama promised a new era in transparency in government. He even complained about all the oil company executives who visited the White House to write Dubya’s Energy Bill (code named “No Oil Well Left Behind”), even though Obama voted for that bill.

But now, MSNBC reports that the Obama administration is trying to block access to the names of coal company executives who visited the White House to influence Obama’s energy plan. They are actually trying to block access to the names of any White House visitors, despite the fact that a federal judge has ruled that these records are public.

Ironically, the Obama administration is borrowing the very same argument that Obama protested when the Bush administration used it — that a president doesn’t have to reveal who he talks to when making policy decisions.

UPDATE: Glenn Greenwald has a good article on Obama and transparency. And here’s a great animation on the same subject.

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Stupid Question of the Year

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I am Dr. TillerThere is a new website http://iamdrtiller.com/ devoted to the memory of Dr. George Tiller, the abortion doctor who was shot and killed in his church. The site contains letters and photos sent in from people. In some (but not all) of the photos, people are holding signs saying “I am Dr. Tiller” over their faces.

So Bill O’Reilly is discussing the site with Amanda Carpenter on his show last week, and asks what must be one of the stupidest questions possible:

Why are they hiding their faces, Amanda, if it’s such a noble cause?

Mind you, O’Reilly is the person who kept calling the doctor “Tiller the baby killer”, a “barbarian”, “murderer”, said he was “executing babies”, compared him to Hitler and Stalin, and said that anyone who didn’t help stop him had “blood on their hands”. So now he wants people to uncover their identities so he can demonize them on his TV show?

Yeah, right. Does O’Reilly want more blood on his hands?

On a lighter note, all this reminds me of something that happened to me many years ago, when I was a volunteer doing clinic escorts. Our job was to escort patients into health clinics to help them get through the phalanx of anti-abortion protesters. One time, I had given a ride to another volunteer — a woman about my age — and as we were walking toward the clinic the pro-life forces started running after us, thinking we were a couple going to get an abortion. They started screaming at us that we were killing our baby, and without thinking I spun around and yelled “Can’t you see that she was raped by an Albanian dwarf?” For some reason that stopped them in their tracks and they left us alone.

Apologies to any Albanians.

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Do as I say, not as I do

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Matt Bors
© Matt Bors

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Civil Torture Suit

Monday, June 15, 2009

US District Judge Jeffrey White has ruled that Jose Padilla has the right to sue John Yoo, the government lawyer who wrote the memos that approved the torture of terrorists, including torturing Padilla (according to his suit).

Padilla — a US citizen — was arrested in Chicago in 2002 and was declared an “enemy combatant”. Originally the Bush Administration accused him of plotting with Al Qaeda to detonate a “dirty bomb”. He was held in a Navy brig without charges for almost four years, but eventually was tried on lesser charges of conspiracy to provide money and supplies to Islamic extremist groups. He was found guilty and is now serving a 17-year jail sentence.

His suit covers his time in the brig. During that time, Padilla says he was detained illegally and tortured, which violates his constitutional rights (remember, he is a US citizen, and was arrested in the US, not on a battlefield).

The Justice department had argued for the dismissal of the suit, claiming that courts had no power to scrutinize high-level government decision-making, especially in wartime. Of course, if we agree with this premise, then the endless war on terror means that the government can arbitrarily arrest and torture anyone it wants to, anywhere, any time, without even charging them with a crime.

What is ironic about all this is that Judge White was appointed by Yoo’s boss, George W Bush. I’m still waiting for some right-wing-nut to accuse White of being a liberal activist judge.

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Loving your Enemy?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Jim Morin
© Jim Morin

No, this is not a joke. There are a number of neocons who really do want Ahmadinejad to be re-elected president of Iran. Daniel Pipes even said that he would vote for Ahmadinejad. Their reasoning seems to be that if Iran becomes more moderate, then it will be harder to talk the West into attacking.

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