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How the Conservative Mind Works?

No wonder conservatives don’t believe in evolution. The annual Values Voter Summit gives an interesting view into how the conservative mind works, or in some cases doesn’t.

People there are worried that Mitt Romney is losing the election. Well, duh. But of course they think that the problem is that he isn’t conservative enough. A leader of the American Family Association, which co-sponsors the event, complained about the speech by Paul Ryan “He didn’t say one single word about marriage. This is the safest environment in the United States of America to talk about marriage. I’ve got to believe that that came from on top. Marriage won 61-39 in North Carolina—in 2012! That’s in a state that President Obama won in 2008. Marriage is a winner. It’s just a mystery to me that they won’t touch this thing.”

He seriously thinks that the reason they are losing support is because Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan aren’t complaining about gay marriage enough.

Social conservatives believe in miracles, because they are still hopeful about Romney and Ryan’s chances. As Mike Huckabee put it in an email “Before you decide the election is over based on September polls, remember that coming out of the 1988 Democratic convention, Gallup showed an insurmountable 17-point lead for that great former president, Michael Dukakis.” What he fails to mention is that the Republican convention happened after the Democratic convention, and George H.W. Bush erased that lead. While Romney/Ryan received almost no bounce after their convention.

Also at the conference was William Temple, the “Tea Party Patriot” who dresses up in colonial garb and yells “Huzzah!” when he agrees with something. But he’s worried too. “We picked probably the weakest candidate we could. Someone like a Herman Cain or a Michele Bachmann would have ’em fired up.”

I think he’s on to something. The Republicans really missed an opportunity to show us what a Michele Bachmann presidential campaign would look like. That would show us! We definitely need more “Pants on Fire” lies in our politics.

And after the election, these same conservatives will never admit the real problem, even though Rick Santorum pretty much spelled it out for them at the conference. Santorum said “We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”

For once we agree.

And Santorum seems to want to keep it that way. He sharply criticized the only wing of the Republican party that seems to attract “smart people”, the libertarians. “When it comes to conservatism, libertarian types can say, oh, well you know, we don’t want to talk about social issues.” Santorum claims this won’t work, because “Without the church and the family, there is no conservative movement, there is no basic values of America.”

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Incitement


© Jim Morin

Are Muslims too easily incited to violence? There’s an interesting editorial in the Washington Post titled “Why is the Arab world so easily offended?”

Let’s ignore for the moment whether violence is ever justified. I believe in this particular case the violence is definitely not justified (mainly because it won’t do any good and will almost certainly hurt them more than anyone they are protesting against). But I also don’t think that the stupid movie is the only thing they are upset about. To coin a bad phrase, it is just the “straw that broke the camel’s back”. Don’t pretend like they don’t have anything to be upset about (cough, Iraq). How should they react?

UPDATE: AlterNet points out that the author of the Washington Post editorial may not be the best person to give us a Muslim perspective.

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Late Night Political Humor

“A new CNN poll shows that President Obama now has a six-point lead over Mitt Romney. You can tell Romney’s depressed – last night he just sat on his couch and bought the Häagen-Dazs corporation.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Early this morning in Los Angeles police were involved with a high-speed chase with a suspect drawing a crowd by throwing money out the window. Is it me or is Mitt Romney getting desperate?” – Conan O’Brien

“Over the weekend Mitt Romney made an appearance at a NASCAR race in Virginia. There was an awkward moment when he asked a NASCAR driver why he didn’t just hire a chauffeur.” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney is not backing down from his statement that America’s number one foe is Russia. Then he said America’s number one band is Duran Duran and the number one movie is ‘The Goonies’.” – Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday, Nicki Minaj revealed that in her new song, she only sarcastically endorsed Mitt Romney. Or as Republicans put it, ‘Wow, you too?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Actually, members of Mitt Romney’s own party are starting to criticize him for being too vague. When asked if that bothers him, Romney said, ‘Maybe’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Snoop Dogg has endorsed Barack Obama’s re-election campaign. He also endorsed Samoa Girl Scout cookies.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Snoop made a compelling argument for a person who will probably not remember to vote.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“I’m a little surprised. I’ve always known Snoop to have his mind on his money and his money on his mind, and that’s more of a Mitt Romney thing.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“A recent poll found that most Americans believe President Obama would be a more loyal friend than Mitt Romney. In other words, Obama is the guy holding your hair back in the bathroom while Romney uploads the drunk photos to Facebook.” – Jimmy Fallon

“In Yemen, a U.S. drone strike has killed al-Qaida’s number two leader, the sixth second in command the U.S. has killed. This is one area where Obama can say he definitely is creating jobs.” – Conan O’Brien

“Over the weekend, Vice President Joe Biden hung out with a biker gang in Ohio. I don’t know if that’s wise. It’s not always a good idea to be associating with shady characters. So next time, think twice, bikers.” – Craig Ferguson

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Bad Cinema

We are starting to learn more about the (so-called) film that caused all the fuss in Islamic countries. I say so-called, because it seems to be impossible to actually see the film. Most people haven’t even watched the 14 minute trailer (and for good reason).

It turns out that the actors who were hired to make the film had no idea they were making an anti-Islam movie. They were told they were making an “Arabian desert adventure movie” starring someone named George who is a “warrior leader”. In fact, most of the attacks against Islam were dubbed over in post-production, and you can clearly tell the actor’s voice changes. Needless to say, the actors involved are very upset and feel taken advantage of by the producer.

And just who made this film? Early reports said it was an Israeli named “Sam Bacile” but there doesn’t seem to be anyone by that name. Instead, it appears to have been made by an Egyptian Christian living in Los Angeles, who is on probation for bank fraud.

The spokesperson for the film is Steve Klein, who is associated with two hate groups. He’s also an insurance agent who was the American Independent Party’s candidate for California state insurance commissioner, but received only 2% of the vote.

But what’s really ironic is that in addition to spewing hate against Muslims, Klein also runs a website mornmoninfo.org that is anti-Mormon. The main part of the site seems to be claiming that Mormons are not Christians. This could become very ironic, because Mitt Romney defended the anti-Muslim film based on the principle of free speech. Would he defend an anti-Mormon website on the same grounds?


© Tom Toles

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Late Night Political Humor

“Yesterday, Paul Ryan said that he and Mitt Romney won’t reveal their tax plan to the public until after the election. Other politicians couldn’t believe it. They were like, ‘At least do the honorable thing and lie.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Lindsay Lohan tweeted President Obama on the topic of tax cuts. Someone needs to tell her she’s Lindsay Lohan and should be focusing on what the president plans to do to cut car insurance deductibles.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Mitt Romney released another ad that features Hispanic voters speaking in Spanish. The ad ends with him saying, ‘I’m Mitt Romney, and I have no idea what these people are saying.'” – Conan O’Brien

“A new poll shows that President Obama has extended his lead over Mitt Romney since the Democratic National Convention. Of course, it didn’t help Obama as much as that other event – the Republican National Convention.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday in Florida, President Obama visited a pizzeria. The owner gave the president a bear hug and lifted him off his feet. Everybody shared a good laugh and then the Secret Service shot the man in the face.” – Conan O’Brien

“Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is scheduled to address the United Nations on the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur. That’s like the Kardashians giving a speech on Labor Day.” – Jimmy Fallon

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The New Crazy

The Republicans picked Mitt Romney, because he seemed to be their only candidate who wasn’t completely crazy. And then he had to go and do this.

A crisis in the Middle East erupts because some asshole idiot in the US makes a really crappy low-budget movie that seems to be designed solely to anger Muslims (who at this point don’t need much to get them pissed off). It depicts Muhammad as a “cowardly, drunken torturer of children and old women.” Kind of like what would happen if some Muslim made a movie depicting Jesus as a gay pedophile who runs an abortion clinic and shoots up drugs (except a Muslim wouldn’t do that since they actually revere Jesus).

Riots break out. The American embassy in Egypt tries to cool things off by issuing a relatively mild statement condemning people who disrespect religion, any religion. The kind of thing you might do if you are trying to keep your people alive.

So what does Romney do? On 9/11, on the same day when Romney said you shouldn’t criticize the president about foreign affairs, he releases a statement condemning the administration. “It’s disgraceful that the Obama administration’s first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.”

First of all, this statement is a lie. The statement from the embassy was made before any attacks on our diplomatic missions. In fact, the statement was designed to reduce the chances of such an attack.

Is Romney really this trigger happy? In fact, originally the statement was released with an embargo until midnight, so that it would not come out on 9/11. But a few minutes later, the Romney campaign lifted their own embargo. They just couldn’t wait. They had to turn an international incident where American lives were lost into cheap, lying political fodder.

Shame on you Romney. You are not qualified to be dogcatcher, let alone president.

Even Republicans were aghast at Romney. One senior Republican said “They were just trying to score a cheap news cycle hit based on the embassy statement and now it’s just completely blown up.” and called Romney’s statement an “utter disaster” and a “Lehman moment” (referring to when McCain lost it during the financial crisis during the 2008 presidential campaign). Another Republican said “I guess we see now that it is because they’re incompetent at talking effectively about foreign policy. This is just unbelievable — when they decide to play on it they completely bungle it.”

So what does Romney do? He doubles down on incompetence. Defending his earlier statement against charges that it was released before Romney had all the facts, he said “It’s never too early for the United States government to condemn attacks on Americans and to defend our values.” In other words, it is more important to act like an overbearing jerk than to try to defuse a violent situation.

Which brought even more disbelief from Republicans. A former Bush State Department official said “It wasn’t presidential of Romney to go political immediately — a tragedy of this magnitude should be something the nation collectively grieves before politics enters the conversation.” Steve Schmidt, senior campaign strategist to Sen. John McCain in McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign, said Romney’s “comments were a big mistake, and the decision to double down on them was an even bigger mistake. There are legitimate criticisms to be made but you foreclose on your ability to make them when you try to score easy political points. And the American people, when the country is attacked, whether they’re a Republican or Democrat or independent, want to see leaders who have measured responses, not leaders whose first instinct is to try to score political points.” Another former campaign aide for John McCain said that Romney is “Not ready for prime time.” And a former US ambassador to NATO under Bush said “Frankly, the charges he made were not only completely untrue but reckless and irresponsible.”

As damage control, the Romney camp then sends out a set of talking points. If asked “Did Governor Romney ‘jump the gun’ last night in releasing his statement?” they are supposed to respond “No. It is never too soon to stand up for American values and interests.”

And he’s supposed to be the Republican who isn’t crazy?


© Pat Oliphant

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Not the Change America Voted For


© John McNamee

Blame the black guy.

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Late Night Political Humor

“The conventions were so different. The Democrats finally look like a real political party; the Republicans look like a seminar for how to flip real estate for Jesus.” – Bill Maher

“The Democratic convention looked like the America I see when I walk down the street. The Republican convention looked like ‘Antiques Roadshow’.” – Bill Maher

“When you look at the two conventions, the speeches at the Democratic convention were just better. Go back and watch Mitt Romney. After seeing Michele Obama speak, and Bill Clinton speak, and the president speak, it’s like watching an armless guy paint with his ass.” – Bill Maher

“Did you see that Bill Clinton speech? One by one he picked apart and destroyed every claim of the Romney-Ryan campaign. In fact, today Todd Akin said it qualified as a legitimate rape.” – Bill Maher

“Of course, it made the Republicans furious. They said, ‘No fair. Not everyone has an ex-president who can speak.'” – Bill Maher

“Clinton was just devastating in his simplicity. He said, ‘I came from a place where people still thought 2 and 2 was four.’ And over at Fox News they said, ‘Get the fact checkers on that.'” – Bill Maher

“It really was a dream night for Bill Clinton – Democrats in love with him, hanging on his every word, Hillary was in China 10,000 miles away. We don’t even know if she saw the speech. In fact, someone said to her today, ‘Did you catch Bill in Charlotte?’ And she said, ‘Who’s Charlotte?'” – Bill Maher

“Clinton killed them with one word: arithmetic. He said Republicans lack skills in arithmetic, which by the way, is not fair to Sarah Palin because if there’s one thing her family has proved it can do is multiply.” – Bill Maher

“Last night in his speech President Obama invoked FDR. Then he saw the unemployment numbers and invoked WTF.” – Jay Leno

“It seems only 96,000 jobs were added last month. And half of those were strippers working the conventions.” – Jay Leno

“The economy is so bad, I saw Mitt Romney at the supermarket buying Lobster Helper.” – Jay Leno

“The economy is so bad, Clint Eastwood talked to a chair while going through the cushions looking for spare change.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama spoke last night. The speech must have been pretty good because today Clint Eastwood said he was voting for the chair.” – Bill Maher

“There was a big shakeup on ‘American Idol.’ There is still a vacant judge’s seat. The producers are in a great hurry to fill the empty seat before Clint Eastwood shows up and starts yelling at it.” – Craig Ferguson

“When it came to ‘hope’ and ‘change’ President Obama told the crowd, ‘You were the change.’ And then the crowd said, ‘Hey don’t blame us. You were supposed to be the change! I just voted. Why is it my fault?'” – Jay Leno

“Did you all hear Al Gore speak at the Democratic convention? He said, ‘Hot dogs, peanuts, cold drinks!'” – Jay Leno

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Fact Checkers


© Tom Toles

I love this image of Republicans playing a shell game with the media. While it does seem to have become particularly easy to confuse the mainstream media, the barrage of lies coming from the Republican party is un-Mitt-igated.

Even more ironic is that even when confronted with their lies, the Republicans keep repeating them, or deny that they ever said the lie in the first place (even though there is video of them clearly lying). For example, Paul Ryan trying to blame Obama for the defense cuts the Republicans forced the administration to accept (and for which Ryan voted), and then denying that he voted for them.

Or they dismiss the media who dare to expose their lies. Romney’s pollster famously said “We’re not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers.” This was in response to a Romney ad claiming that Obama had removed the work requirement from the welfare law. That claim was completely false, yet they were going to keep running the ad because polling showed it was effective in getting votes for Romney.

And the conservative website RedState has proposed that if you quote a fact checker in a post, they will ban you from the site. I guess they can’t have any reality intrude into their comfortable bubble.

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The Will to Win

Apparently Paul Ryan is so confident of becoming the next vice president that he has decided to start running ads tomorrow for his re-election to Congress.

He’s not alone in his doubts. Other Republicans are starting to give pointed advice to Romney, fearing that he is on the road to losing the election. The biggest criticism? “Stop being so vague.” Rupert Murdoch advised “Stop fearing far right, which has nowhere else to go.” William Kristol even compared Romney’s campaign to that of Michael Dukakis, pointing out that “Mike Dukakis lost.” Jonah Goldberg called Romney the “No Ideas” candidate.

Meanwhile, Michael Cohen provides plenty of evidence that “Mitt Romney is the worst national politician I’ve ever seen” and talks about his “epic incompetence”.

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9/11 Negligence

Today is the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, and here’s something to remember.

Kurt Eichenwald gained access to some of the daily security briefings that were given to the White House in the weeks before the attack, and other classified documents, and has “come to an inescapable conclusion: the administration’s reaction to what Mr. Bush was told in the weeks before that infamous briefing reflected significantly more negligence than has been disclosed.”

The Bush administration ignored clear warnings about 9/11. Why? Because “the neoconservative leaders who had recently assumed power at the Pentagon were warning the White House that the C.I.A. had been fooled; according to this theory, Bin Laden was merely pretending to be planning an attack to distract the administration from Saddam Hussein, whom the neoconservatives saw as a greater threat.”

The CIA was insistent, pleading that the White House accept that the danger from Bin Laden was real, but the Bush administration ignored them. Officials at the Counterterrorism Center of the CIA grew “apoplectic”.

In a separate interview with CBS, Eichenwald said:

What I’ve been able to see are the presidential daily briefs before August 6 of 2001. And they’re horrific, and they are – our reports are “an attack is coming”, “there are going to be mass casualties”. The worst of them, the Pentagon, the neo-conservatives at the Pentagon, as the CIA was coming in saying, “al-Qaeda’s going to attack”, said, “Oh, this is just a false flag operation. Bin laden is trying to take our attention off of the real threat, Iraq.” And so there are presidential daily briefs that are literally saying, ‘No they’re wrong, this isn’t fake, it’s real.”

You should read the whole article, but it makes one thing perfectly clear — we had ample evidence warning us about the 9/11 attacks but the Bush administration was negligent and incompetent.

Ironically, one of the few times that George W. Bush was mentioned at the recent Republican convention was when his brother Jeb Bush said “He is a man of integrity, courage, and honor, and during incredibly challenging times, he kept us safe.”

UPDATE: Even more hypocrisy! Dick Cheney lashes out at Obama for not paying enough attention to the same daily briefings that warned the Bush administration that Osama bin Laden was “determined to strike in the US”. Sheesh.

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Return on Investment!

The Center for American Progress gives a good example of why people like casino magnate Sheldon Adelson are willing to throw so much money at Republican candidates.

Adelson says he plans to spend $100 million to get Mitt Romney elected. That’s on top of the money he spent on Newt Gingrich, and doesn’t count the $36 million he has contributed to various Republican Super PACs. That’s an astounding amount of money. It was just a few years ago when the maximum you could contribute to a political candidate was under $2500.

So what will Adelson get in return for his “investment”? If Romney does the things he says he will do, Adelson stands to reap more than $2 billion dollars in reduced taxes over the next four years alone. That’s a 20 times return on investment!

In addition, Romney says he will eliminate the estate tax, which would provide a staggering $8.9 billion windfall to his heirs when he dies.

Who would pay for this? The 95% of Americans who would get hit with a tax increase from the Romney tax plan. Not to mention all of us, since a dramatic cut would be required in government services to pay for Romney’s tax cuts for the wealthy.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Mitt, you just keep demanding that Americans answer the question: are you better off than you were four years ago? But just don’t answer it yourself, cause that would mean releasing more than two years of tax returns.” – Stephen Colbert

“Computer hackers claim to have stolen Mitt Romney’s tax returns and are willing to leak them publicly unless the Romney campaign agrees to pay them $1 million. This is such an unethical money-making scheme that Mitt Romney said he was quite impressed. ‘I could use these guys at Bain Capital.'” – Jay Leno

“The signature question of this presidential campaign is, “Are you better off than you were four years ago?” As a comedian, I have to say no. I miss Bush and Cheney; they were the golden age. I wish they were here. I am not better off.” – Jay Leno

“We got some bad economic news. The United States has slipped further down the global ranking of the world’s most competitive economies. We’re now #7. Switzerland is number one. Romney said, ‘See, that’s why I keep my money there.'” – Jay Leno

“Everyone is still talking about Bill Clinton’s speech last night in Charlotte. It was a remarkable speech, 45 minutes long and 6,000 words. Like the political version of the guitar solo from ‘Freebird.'” – Craig Ferguson

“Both conventions are over, and if you watched, I think it’s pretty clear who should be the next president of the United States – Bill Clinton. He was unbelievable. According to Democrats, he won the election for Obama, he helped the cowboys beat the Giants, and he even had time to go to Hooters afterward.” – Jay Leno

“Bill Clinton said that President Obama inherited a deeply damaged economy. And if he’s re-elected he’ll inherit an even more deeply damaged economy.” – Jay Leno

“You know who’s a big supporter of President Obama? Scarlett Johansson. I think I’ll wait until I hear what Katherine Heigl has to say.” – David Letterman

“Today Scarlett Johansson, Kerry Washington, and Eva Longoria all spoke at the Democratic convention. This means that Obama has all about clinched the crucial 13-year-old boy vote.” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama’s speech was moved from the Bank of America stadium to the Time Warner Cable Arena. They had to move out of the big venue into a smaller place. Like a lot of homeowners in the past four years.” – Jay Leno

“In a related story, Vice President Joe Biden’s speech also was moved to a smaller venue – the back room at Denny’s, the booth in the corner.” – Jay Leno

“This morning Tom Brokaw had to be taken to the hospital after accidentally taking an Ambien sleeping pill. And tonight he was taken to the hospital again after accidentally listening to a speech by Joe Biden.” – Conan O’Brien

“Happy birthday to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who is 50 years old. They had a cake for him. He blew out the candles and then he wished for another cake.” – David Letterman

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We Obstructed This!


© Jim Morin

In repeated polls taken over the last year, a plurality of voters agree with the statement that Republicans are deliberately “stalling efforts to jumpstart the economy to ensure that President Obama does not win re-election“.

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Alternate Reality

Buried in the crosstabs of a recent poll in Ohio is the interesting tidbit that when asked the question “Who do you think deserves more credit for the killing of Osama bin Laden: Barack Obama or Mitt Romney?” only 38% of Republicans responded “Barack Obama”. Almost half — 47% — were not sure, and unbelievably 15% said “Mitt Romney”.

Republicans think we should protect democracy with onerous voter ID laws (and other rules designed to suppress the vote from groups that traditionally vote Democratic), even though there are extremely few documented cases of actual voter fraud. This poll provides direct evidence that there is a sizable group that shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a voting booth. Don’t you think it would be only fair to pass a law that requires voters to answer this question before they are allowed to vote?

UPDATE: I guess this shouldn’t be surprising, since conservatives have been trying to give George W Bush credit for killing Osama bin Laden for a long time.

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