In the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.
In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.
As word spread throughout the land about the Child’s wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.
The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.
And suddenly, … appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”
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Unfortunately, the photo op was cancelled. The McCain campaign claims it is because of poor weather, but a more likely reason seems to be because of an oil spill that just happened near New Orleans, closing 89 miles of the Mississippi River and disrupting water supplies. I guess it just isn’t a good idea to give a speech about how safe oil drilling is right in front of an 400,000 gallon oil spill. Or as Senator Bob Menendez put it:
Look up ‘irony’ in the dictionary and you will find a description of this turn of events. Having to cancel your big oil drilling photo op because of a massive oil spill is like canceling a crime safety photo op because the house next door just got robbed.
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In 2006, Merkel was famously given a quick backrub by President Bush, which was caught on camera. When asked if she expected more backrubs from the next US president, she said “I wouldn’t resist.”
But before you get too excited, remember that Merkel is not actually a big supporter of Obama. She won’t be in Berlin for his widely anticipated speech, and even remarked “Maybe I’ll turn on the television.”
Columnist Robert Novak has been charged in an accident involving a pedestrian. Novak, who drives a black Corvette and is known as an “aggressive” driver, sped away from the scene. Novak claims he didn’t know he hit anyone, however, a witness says: “There was a pedestrian splayed on his windshield — I don’t think there is any way you could miss that.” The witness gave chase on a bicycle and called 911; he also said that after he stopped Novak, that Novak kept “trying to get away”.
None of this would be ironic, except that in a 2001 interview in the Washington Post, Novak said “I really hate jaywalkers. I despise them. Since I don’t run the country, all I can do is yell at ’em. The other option is to run ’em over, but as a compassionate conservative, I would never do that.”
I nearly fell out of my chair. Did Chris Matthews really endorse Obama on Leno? And do it in a moving, and articulate way?
For a bit of context, Matthews has long been a cheerleader for McCain, once starting an interview with McCain by saying “Senator McCain, you know you’re in my heart!”, and on several occasions asserting that McCain “deserves to be president”.
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It is ironic that, despite his age, McCain reminds me of a small child so desperate for attention that he will do anything to get it. On the night Obama secured the Democratic nomination, McCain tried to deflect attention away by giving a speech, which even Fox News thought was embarrassing, and CNN said was “awful” and “pathetic”. Lucky for McCain that the networks broke away from that speech about half-way through it.
Now, while Obama is looking presidential touring the middle east, McCain again tries to deflect attention away. But will he succeed this time?
McCain does get a bit of attention when he repeatedly talks about Czechoslovakia (a country that hasn’t existed for 15 years), and then when he expresses concern about the Iraq/Pakistan border (which has never existed, but if it did, it would be called ‘Iran’). Hmm, not so good either.
McCain then really screws up, adamantly claiming that the Iraq surge led directly to the Anbar Awakening, saying “that’s just a matter of history”. Unfortunately, rather than history it is either a huge lie or stunning ignorance, since the Anbar Awakening occurred months before we even started thinking about having a surge. So while trying to demonstrate that he would be a better commander-in-chief than Obama, he instead proves that he has no understanding of events in Iraq.
Next, use an ally to plant a false rumor that McCain will announce his VP candidate this week. According to Robert Novak “I got a suggestion from a very senior McCain aide that he was gonna announce it this week. And they suggested I put it out … so I just put something on the internet. I since have been told by certain people that this was a dodge, trying to get a little publicity to rain on Obama’s campaign. That’s pretty reprehensible if it’s true.”
In frustration, launch an even more scurrilous attack on Obama, accusing him of wanting to lose a war. (Interestingly, Joe Klein in Time magazine describes this as a “meltdown” — something a small child does.)
At a fundraiser last week President Bush admitted that his friends in big business “got drunk” on all “these fancy financial instruments”, and now have “a hangover”. Is Bush actually realizing that throwing money at large corporations might not have been the best thing for him to do for the last 7 years?
By the way, need we point out that Phil Gramm (McCain’s chief financial advisor until last week) was largely responsible for making those drunken crazy-making “fancy financial instruments” legal? Does that make him the person who bought the alcohol for Wall Street’s drunken party?
And as a side note, Bush also mentioned that Laura is looking to move from Crawford to Dallas. As Daily Kos asks, does this mean that his ranch was merely a political prop?
Conservative columnist Andrew Sullivan had to give up after trying to post a comment on McCain’s website:
Even after I got an account, an ordeal in itself, clicking ‘Post a comment’ or ‘Reply’ made the ‘Take Action!’ page appear.
Of course, the “Take Action!” page is the one that asks you for money.
Even if he had been able to get to the page where you post a comment, Sullivan would have run into a further problem — an extremely overzealous comment filter. One poster did manage to get through and post a comment, but just so he could say:
If someone can help me understand, there seems to be an automatic moderation in place. The most innocuous of words seem to be off limits, but I’m having a hard time figuring out which ones. I find myself editing my posts until they become almost meaningless and barren of information. Any ideas anyone?
Apparently, their comment filter rejects any word that contains potentially naughty letters. For example, the word “compass” is rejected because of the letters “ass”, and the word “analysis” because it contains “anal”. And not just naughty letters — the letters “net” or “org” or “gov” get rejected; for example, “monetarily” gets rejected for “net”.
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Rumors are flying out of the John McCain camp that a surprising and seemingly counterintuitive choice for the vice presidential running mate is imminent. There may be a proposal afoot among Republicans to name Senator Larry Craig of Idaho as McCain’s running mate. The theory being that if, as expected in November, after eight years of Bush incompetence the party’s chances go into the toilet; Senator Craig is, among his party, the most well acquainted with the territory. – Robert Klein
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In Propaganda 101, you learn a technique called “the Big Lie“. It was defined by Adolf Hitler in his book Mein Kampf as a lie so “colossal” that people believe it, because no one would suspect that someone “could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously”.
You can probably guess where this is leading. McCain has a new campaign ad, which blames Obama for high gas prices because he’s against “drilling in America”, and against “independence from foreign oil”. I nearly fell off my chair laughing!
Turns out that for these 8 years with the gas prices quadrupling, it wasn’t Bush! It was Barack Obama secretly leading the country! I did not know that! Things that John McCain tells you every day that you did not know!
What’s really bizarre about this is that it represents a complete turnaround for McCain. His own campaign says “allowing new offshore drilling would have no immediate impact on supplies or gas prices.” Two months ago, when asked about offshore drilling, he said:
With those resources, which would take years to develop, you would only postpone or temporarily relieve our dependency on fossil fuels.
Let me give you a little straight talk on energy. Our dangerous dependence on foreign oil has been thirty years in the making, not yesterday, thirty years.
McCain’s solution to high gas prices is more giveaways to big oil companies. Most economists agreed that his “gas tax holiday” would almost entirely line the pockets of oil companies, and now he wants to destroy our environment for something he says would only “temporarily relieve” the problem. Even the US Energy Department says production would not start until 2017 and have no “significant” effect on prices or supplies until 2030.
Even the (normally McCain loving) media is scratching their head at this ad:
New York Times: “misleading on nearly every substantive point”
Columbus Dispatch (also carried by four other Ohio papers): “laughable”
Washington Post: “a stretch” and “It’s a bit audacious for McCain to charge that ‘some in Washington’ still oppose offshore oil drilling, since that was his position, most notably in his 2000 presidential campaign”
CQ Politifact: “We find McCain’s claim to be false.”
Republicans just can’t get a break. In April, the Nevada Republican party held their state convention, but then abruptly shut it down when Ron Paul supporters were about to elect their own delegates to the national convention. The Republicans promised to reconvene a new state convention this month, but have now cancelled those plans, claiming that they couldn’t generate enough interest for it (so far, they had received 300 RSVPs, and needed 675 for a quorum). Instead, the party’s executive board will have a private conference call to decide whom from Nevada will attend the Republican National Convention.
I don’t know which is worse — claiming that nobody is interested in going to your convention, or canceling the convention because things didn’t go the way the bigwigs wanted. Either way, as former congresswoman Barbara Vucanovich says “Frankly, its an embarrassment for our state and also makes it difficult for John McCain.”
